Three scientists sit at a bar, overlooking an apartment building. Before the first beer, they notice two persons entering the building. A few hours and beers later, they notice that three persons leave the building. Now they all get agitated, because they all need to explain what has happened.
The biologist claims that the two have mated, and the third specimen is the result.
The physicist claims that what they all witnessed had a major measurement error, and that in fact there must have been three entering the building earlier.
The mathematician smiles. She knows the right answer, and spells it out: "Don't worry. When the next person enters the building, it will become empty."
Science and humor go surprisingly well together, and scientists love studying it.
A PRIEST kept chickens at his village. One evening the "cock" went missing.
At the mass Church prayer gathering, the priest asked: "Who has a cock"?
All the men got up. "No, I meant who has seen a cock?" All the women got up. "No, No,
Who has seen a cock that isn't theirs?" Half the women got up. "Oh, for goodness sake,
Who has seen my cock...?" All the nuns got up and the priest fainted.
Dear Michael Patriksson,
Take this joke!!!!!!!!!
Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”
Enjoy!!!!
Another math joke;
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are travelling in Scotland. They pass by a field where a brown cow is standing. The engineer says: "Ah! I see that Scottish cows are brown!" The physicist shakes her head: "No, the inductive conclusion is that at least one Scottish cow is brown." The mathematician says: "No. At least one field in Scotland has at least one cow who at least has one side that is brown."
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
#1. Q: Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?
A: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
#2. Q: What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
A: Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red.
You can find more here, but not all of them will be clear for non-physicists: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/schooljokes/physicsjokes.html
If you have written an article and want to publish it, you should behave according to this algorithm.
1. If you know what you have written and can prove it – send to mathematical journal!
2. If you understand what you have written but cannot prove it – send it to physical journal!
3. If you do not understand what you have written but can prove it – send it to economic journal!
4. If you do not understand what you have written and cannot prove it – send it to philosophical journal!
A geology joke
"Don't expect perfection from a geologist; they all have their faults"
The best one that I know:
Our universe is made of protons, electrons, neutrons, neurons and morons!!!!
Scientific humor is a kind of professional humor, which is based on the unusual or paradoxical aspects of scientific theories and scientific activity. Like any professional humor, scientific humor is often not understood by people who do not have sufficient knowledge in the relevant field.
Also to scientific humor can be attributed ridicule of some aspects of science or individual scientists.
Sometimes the very concept of scientific humor meets with misunderstanding. There is a well-known telephone conversation between the compilers of the collection "Physicists joke" with a representative of an unnamed scientific organization, in which the latter stated that "our employees are engaged in serious matters and they are not up to jokes".
Comic scientific awards
As such, comic scientific prizes are almost nonexistent. The most famous of them is the Shnobelev Prize, a parody of the prestigious Nobel Prize in the scientific community.
In 2006, on the site of Molybiol, a comical virtual award was awarded to them. Edelweiss Mashkin.
Dear Colleagues,
It was many months since I smiled and laughed more. Now reading your lines, I laughed so much. Bravi.
Compliments . Sometimes even the researchers, professors and scientists should not take themselves too seriously. After all we are a people of Lucky because we do what we like to do, we have fun in doing research and .............pay as well !!!!!!!!
I thought the most famous Nobel-type comical award was the Ig Nobel Price. Here is a link to that very amusing site:
http://www.improbable.com/ig/
Its mother organisation also has the very amusing journal "Improbable Research", which is VERY amusing.
Pavel, I translate the text from picture of your joke #19:
"This time in Russia"
You see how people jump from pieces of melting ice to water. This is cultural reality, but what is scientific? (well, you write that it is not)
From my side I want to add another joke (that I saw in Russian and translated into English). It is both scientific and cultural:
"Females-mathematicians drink till infinity,
Females-chemists drink till the loss of reaction,
Female-in medicine drink till the loss of pulse.
Let us drink for females-physicists, who drink till the loss of resistance."
Biology Joke:
Q. What does DNA stand for?
A. National Dyslexics Association
The humorous scientific method
The comic scientific method is a humorous exposition of the basic methods of obtaining new knowledge.
Theoretical views of the scientific method (theory, hypothesis), scientific jokers show either in the form of thought experiments and paradoxes (for example Russell's tea and the cat's oil paradox), or in joke laws (eg Murphy's law, Parkinson's law, Chizholsma's effect, and Clark's three laws ).
The first three joke laws are connected more with life and philosophy than with science. In terms of its formulations, these are paradoxical laws. Created as jokes, they act in everyday life and in work.
Clark's three laws are related primarily to science. And this is not surprising, since Arthur Clarke is not only a fiction and futurist, but also a scientist.
***
Murphy's law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law
***
Originally, Parkinson's law is the adage that "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion", and the title of a book which made it well-known. However, in current understanding, Parkinson's law is a reference to the self-satisfying uncontrolled growth of the bureaucratic apparatus in an organization.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson%27s_law
British science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke formulated three adages that are known as Clarke's three laws, of which the third law is the best known and most widely cited:
1. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
3. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
***
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarke%27s_three_laws
How much is 2 x 2?
- Philosopher: Before we answer this question, let's start by making assumptions about the existence of objective truth.
- Psychologist: Let's think about what 2 really is? What does he strive for? Does multiplication affect these aspirations?
- Physicist: After a few measurements I am sure that this number is between 3.81 and 4.13.
- Mathematician: After a moment of reflection, I can prove that a solution exists.
- Engineer: Of course four, but just in case let's assume 5.
Reviewer 2 walks into a bar and says "This isn't how I would've started this joke."
Q: What is a goy?
A: A goy is a girl if examined at or before time t and a boy if examined after t.
It's a philosophy of science joke — if you're not familiar with the predicates “grue” and “bleen” that Nelson Goodman uses to explain his “new riddle of induction” you won't get it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_riddle_of_induction
Explanations in evolutionary biology and the 4 Fs:
Two behaviorists have just had sex...
One turns to the other and says, "That was great for you, darling. How was it for me?"
Then there was the behaviorist who looked in the mirror to see how he was feeling.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s a hardware problem.
A cop pulls over Werner Heisenberg and says, “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg responds, “No, but I know exactly where I am.”
Definition of “Calories”
Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
A psychoanalyst shows a patient an inkblot and asks him what he sees. The patient says: “A man and woman making love.”
The psychoanalyst shows him a second inkblot, and the patient says: “That’s also a man and woman making love.”
The psychoanalyst shows him a third inkblot, and the patient says: “That’s a man and woman making love too.”
The psychoanalyst says: “You are obsessed with sex.”
The patient says: “What do you mean I’m obsessed? You’re the one with all the dirty pictures.”
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." — attributed to Bill Gates, 1981
"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home." — Digital Equipment Corp. founder Ken Olsen, 1977
Here is one
Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children A: "I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Here is one
Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children A: "I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Here is one
Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children A: "I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Here is one
Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children A: "I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Here is this one
Q: Why did the 2 red blood cells break up
A: Because their romance was all in vein
😁😁
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
- Badges
- Science method