Over the ages and years every culture and country has developed a lifestyle concept for life and lives by women with intellectual disabilities. Do exists in your culture explicit or tacit rules of adult life for women with intellectual disabilities (ID) (levels mild 70-55IQ and moderate 54-36IQ)?
Do women get married ? Do they became mothers? Maybe they will live alone without intimate relationships until the death? Perhaps they will they stay by generation families until the death, treated rather as children? What is in your culture dominant pattern of lifestyle (culturally acquiescence) for women with ID? What is your opinion on this topic?
Dear Beata: Not only women everyone with such disabilities facing the same problem They need proper attention, environment and support from the society.
Dear Patrick, thank you for quick response.
Dear Lijo, I agree from human beings perspective. However on deeper understanding of different biology, social roles and cultural customs, patterns and traditions, being woman with intellectual disability is much different than being a man with such disability.
Dear Beata et al., in my society, that often places importance on extended family, these women are cared for quite well. Most work in the home; they do the cooking and the men folk will do the selling. Some of these women get married and have normal children and some remain single. When I was young I had a neighbor who was deaf and dumb (Turner), she was married to a nice man who understood her quite well. But she can't have children. Thanks for your questions about them, your concern for their welfare. "Help the helpless"
Dear Beata! I understand.
We have some rehabilitation centers. I remember very well, when I was in secondary schools and university, we friends visit these centers. We used to spend some time with them once in a while, we perform musics, skits to give them some pleasure. I remember all those days with incredible experiences.
People show false sympathy with them; but when it comes to really doing something for them, they just search for some pretexts or just look the other way.
I believe in such kind of social structuring, government must provide for their social security, schooling and care. But that is in an extremely poor state in India.
All people really show sympathy with them and are very kind towards them.
Beata: Thanks for asking a very important question. Life unfortunately is very tough for women (even for men) with intellectual difficulties in India. The society in India is not that very sympathetic to these women (and men). As Debi said people show false sympathy and try to take advantage of them. Government support is there to some extent but is on paper and not really translated. Many families of course provide support. I know of a few in my extended family who are cared for them. If that woman has family support then her life is good but otherwise it is tough. It is very rare that they get married.
Dear @All, thank you for contributions. I know the topic is not simple to response of culturally accepted lifestyles of women with ID. I appreciate all of your answers.
Dear @Mahfuz, please tell me more about womens' with ID spaces and social roles or positions. Would you ?
Dear @Patrick, tkank you for every good and motivating words, and sharing ideas.
Dear @Debi and @Nageswara, thank you a lot for answers.
Dear @Hatem, Of course, Lijo is right speaking of both sexes, His diagram is basic for understanding capacity of persons wth ID as a human beings. I asked about the women, perceiving (after my researches) they different than men's real opportunities and patterns of lives in Poland.
Beata: Women are more vulnerable and to that they are exploited more either getting lot of assaults, domestic work or sexual abuse. Without family support it is miserable life for them.
Yes, this very pathetic situation Prof. Nageswara. They need consideration than sympathy, from family and society.
@Kamal: It is really heartening to know such good measures taken by the people and the government.
Dear Beata
Intellectual disability, regardless whether it is male or female, is a term used when a person has certain limitations in their mental functioning and performance of tasks such as communication , personal care and social relationship.
These limitations cause a slowing of the learning and development of these persons
Intellectual disability is not a disease . Can not be contracted from the contagion to others , or living with an intellectual deficient cause any loss in people who are not . Cognitive delay is not a mental illness ( psychological distress ) , such as depression , schizophrenia , e.g. All people with intellectual disabilities are able to grow , learn and develop. The obstacles created by the limitations which presents an intellectual poor are many, because our society still has strength as the inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities in the majority of resources in our society , especially in schools and in the labor market . However , these people demonstrate daily that are capable, yes, to lead a healthy , dignified and productive life . Can contribute , like other citizens , to build a more humane and happier society. In this sense , the struggle for an inclusive society must be a practical day-to -day life of each of us
As Voltaire said , " if man were perfect , it would be God "
Dear Nelson, thank you for contribution. I agree with you, that persons with ID contribute as the other citizen our society.
I had a relative who is partially mentally-disabled. The parents hesitantly arranged her marriage frankly telling the boy's family about the problem, which I would say was not a serious one. . They lived together for about 2 years, and one daughter was born. He left her for the added reason that she gave birth to a daughter, and not a son.
She now lives with her parents along with the daughter. Her future is completely in dark after both parents are gone. Brothers are there but, I suspect if they can support her in a dignified manner. .
In semi-educated, and even in many cases educated families, dowry and birth of female child are added problems for women in India. No body knows how manage the situation. Law is a poor instrument of change. There is no social security in India even for such cases like it is so in the developed world.
Dear Debi, Thank you very much for this touching story which gives me wider perspective on marriage relationship in India.
I know in Poland research reports showing even typology of marriages between intellectually disabled women and intelligent men, who prefered such women as wives. This may be surprising for scientists from other scientific domains.
Of course this is not survey but qualitative - biographic analysis report of a few case studies of marriages.
The story started with such events when a few men in middle or late adulthood, in the moments of lives became widowers. Then they married women with mild or moderate ID. The author of report showed even typology of studied marriages, according to core marital activity. She - K. Nowak-Lipinska (2003) described: culinary marriage, travelling marriage, health wellbeing marriage etc. Authoress concluded, that these a few studied marriages were happy for both of spouses. There were significant age difference between them too. Wives with disabilities were younger about 15 or more years than their husbands, as I remember. They lived as childless marriages, because husbands already had adult children from first marriage. I would like to add that there is no great public awareness of such original marriages in Poland.
Another interesting thing concernded education levels of studied men. Those widowers were educated having at least master's degree for ex. in law.
Dear Kamal. thank you. You are completely right. This is our obligation to help them (as well as men too) because they need our support and care, counselling to live happy lives. If we would leave them alone, they would be lost.
Dear PatricK, thank you very much for asking. Of course I'll answer about Polish women with ID. According to research reports by my researchers collegues and my too, women with ID have basic needs similar to the needs of every other woman, with intelligence normal or above. Dear Patrick, I not intend to analyse A. Maslow's needs pyramid now.
Women with ID want to be in family circles and be respected and loved. Besides to have an access to work opportunities and employment Likewise intimate and meaningful relationships, partners, and/or marriage. They (mostly dream) about being mothers, because mothers with moderate ID is rather culturally questioned and taboo topic.
There is however such regularity, that women with mild level of disfunctions (70-55IQ) became mothers, because in fact their assessed disability metaphorically ends with the moment of school graduation. No one asks them more to pass exams test, no one asks them more for intelligence in for ex. in public office for marriage affairs. What they need more ? They do not have extended achievements needs, but rather they look for own work place in sheltered work places or on open market. It depends on level of ID. Since about 2000 year in Polish public discourse is disscused constant topic, concerned quality of adulthood phases (and roles within) available for women with ID as well as men.
Dear Patrick, thank you for refreshing brainstorming. Option 4. seems interesting and fair. Women with mild ID living independently need occasional support, during life changes, motherhood roles, relationship difficulties, living traps and societal-cultural demands etc. They need live own lives, I surely know :))
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