I think a counselor does not have a responsibility to have similar personal experiences to the client. This is practically impossible. In some cases, this constitute a problem in the helping relationship. In some cases, The counselor may experience burnout in these situations. But I think counselor can share her feelings about feeling unable to reach some feelings they share about this percieved inadequacy with the client as appropriate. But if the counselor does not have "professional" proficiency for the case, this is completely different, I think. This may constitute a therapeutic material if managed well enough. In some severe cases, the counselor may need to refer the client to another professional having specialization in that area.

I like your question. I have an anecdote that might be relevant. Actually, it's an anecdote from the world of ice hockey (I'm an avid fan. And the parallels between professional hockey and academic work are greater than one might assume).

Some years back, a former hockey player (Jeremy Roenick), and a professional sports commentator named Bob McKenzie, were debating some aspect of a team's play, and stood in disagreement. In an attempt to both gain a rhetorical upper-hand and embarrass Bob, at one point Jeremy asked, "well, how many professional hockey games have you played in?" Knowing full well that his counterpart had never played. (it should maybe be noted that Roenick was renowned for antagonizing his opponents when he played as well).

Showing remarkable poise, his counterpart replied, "well, if the criterion is to have actually played hockey, then I guess none of my comments are valid. But in my observation of the game..."

I can't even remember which guy was right. Obviously that's not the point of the story. The point is that both guys had a passionate, and worthy view, of the game. They didn't stand in agreement, but they both brought a meaningful insight to bear.

Similarly, it seems that for counsellors, if the criterion is to have "lived" the client's own experiences ourselves, then our range of acceptable competencies is unduly--and, I believe, unreasonably--limited. I see it as likely that a compassionate, dedicated and well-trained counsellor will have thoughtful and potentially therapeutic insights to offer the client. Sometimes those insights will be right, and sometimes they'll be a little off. But while experience confers insight, so does thoughtful and self-aware analysis of the client's unique circumstances. Empathy and humility can probably offset the disadvantages of having not walked a mile in the client's proverbial shoes. Empathy to understand their concerns. And humility to know that you don't know it all.

IMHO (in my humble opinion)

Please understand at the end of a session it is hard for the traumatized person as they may have just discussed different experiences and may be left feeling confused and in some cases abandoned.

I recommend five to ten minutes prior to leaving to prepare in advance what to think about for the next week. Mention positive discussion and progress while looking ahead to continued journey ahead in the following week

Remember, the traumatized patient may actually not be in a good place to leave due to the discussion...think about ensuring a secure ending to the session before the time just stops.