Father and mother are making their efforts to serve their children, stayed up in order to preserve them, and sacrifice to meet their requirements.
Are they are deserve attention when their aging?
Kind parents deserve the best. When you & I were weak, they catered for us with their maximum care & attention.When a son or daughter gives attention to the ageing parents, the favors are not completely reciprocated; still the parents have given more than what is estimated. I was good to my parents (who died in 2002 & 2005) but I do not think that I rewarded them properly because I am a human being with limited power, so I ask GOD to give them the best reward in heavens.
Dear Qasim,
Let me make it clear that my following comment is not based upon how I personally feel or believe [I try to leave aside personal beliefs ... religion & morality issues ... when dealing with matters of science].
According to the science of socio-biology, which appears to me to have the situation analyzed most correctly [from a scientific basis], giving anything to your parents [after they have aged beyond their reproductive years] is an altruistic act which would be considered a generosity. IF they are still of reproductive age, and still able to produce siblings to you, THEN giving them aid would be tantamount to aiding the survival of your siblings' (who your parents are protecting and supporting) genes, which would also be tantamount to being a "selfish" act of supporting the survival [= replication] of your own genes, and, therefore, such aid would NOT be considered a generosity or favor, but arises to the level of a duty, for half of the genes they carry are identical to yours, and the duty you owe them is the same as you would owe to your own children, who even though they carry genes that are directly descended from you, like your siblings' their genetic material also is only half yours. So the duty to siblings and children, from a socio-biological perspective, would be the same. From the same perspective, your duty to the parent(s) would end completely, ONLY when the parent(s) totally ceased being a provider and / or protector (in any way) to ALL of your siblings, your children, AND your SIBLINGS' children.
Let me re-iterate that these comments have nothing to do with the way I have been personally reared / and felt about or treated my own parents (who I loved very much and treated very well ... until death parted us, long-after they became old, sick and infirm). However, stripped of human emotions, religious teachings and morals ... I believe these are the bare biological facts remaining.
Regards,
Bob Skiles
Mother is the nanny, carrying the fetus 9 months, and then the pain of childbirth. then she is feeding, breeding , and prepare food for adults and childrenز
Father works continuously in order to provide a good living for the familyز
So, we should
- kind to them ..
- Obedience and love them..
- Pray for them
Dear Qasim,
Dear All,
The compassion and gentleness to parents is a duty that is the consequence of loving responsibility. This is one of the most traditional ethical rules and is the basis of a healthy society.
Dear Qasim,
Dear All,
The compassion and gentleness to parents is a duty that is the consequence of loving responsibility. This is one of the most traditional ethical rules and is the basis of a healthy society.
It's a duty, they suffered for our growth, ...
They lost a part of their private life, ...
We cannot pay them by any manner,...
Kindness to parents should go beyond our duty but also include additional favors / generosity because without them, we will not come into this world / achieve what we achieved today. Regardless some parents might not treat their children as they should, but as children we should accept as we can't choose who should be our biological parents. Moreover, honoring our parents is required by God as stated in scripture and we should do this the best we can. We should cherish the moment with our parents as life is unpredictable & time is limited in which we might not have such opportunity later.
The following 2 YouTube links illustrated the same song about motherly love & how we should respond to it. The 1st link contained the lyric translated into English. The 2nd link is the original singer from Hong Kong's popular Chinese Cantonese band called "Beyond". Hope you enjoy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvN1PxR_YGY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjCHafQIhFk
To answer briefly, definitely! It is a duty!! It is also an opportunity.. If we cannot do that for our parents, we cannot do it for anyone else...All our claims of being humans are then, wrong. We are demons in human grab if we don't develop affection and sense of duty towards those who gave us birth and brought us up!
Parents are most deserving of their children's attention and service, especially when they are older. I think it would be a pleasure and not so much a duty for children to take of their aging parents.
Many thanks,
Debra
Dear Qasim
Good parents want nothing more than to know that your kids are people of character. That is, individuals who have honor, kindness and integrity. These attributes will benefit every child and anyone who associates with them, because the strength of character is needed to achieve any goal worth.
The character or the integrity of our children also has a tremendous impact beyond our own family. Confucius said: "The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of homes." What we do with our children helps strengthen our society.
A good character is not genetic. It should be taught, learned and conquered. Some may debate whether our children are what they are because of the nature (born that way) or by creating (they were created that way). Most parents agree that their children are unique, but they can be taught. In other words, there are elements of nature and the way they are created.
Our character is the sum of our choices. Therefore, we must use the time we are with our children to teach them to make good choices. When they leave home, there is not much that parents can do to help them make good decisions. We love them and want them to be successful and happy in life.
We must take care of parents. There is no favour in this. It is our duty and responsibility.
We must perform our role and pass on to the next generation.
Filial duty is one of the most important components of Chinese traditional virtues, the same is true for almost every culture.
Like many of you, I believe reciprocating kindness to our parents when they are getting old and can't take care of themselves is a duty/responsibility.
Based on my Chinese upbringing (i.e., filial piety), it is a responsibility and a virtue. I will do so willingly and joyfully.
From the teachings of the Christian faith, honoring one's parents is a good thing and will result in a blessing.
Many people wish that your parents are life to give them more and more kindness .
It is our duty and responsibility, we can favour or generous to other parents
Hello Mohammed Hussein
It had never occurred to me not to involve my parents in my life at any stage.
Daryn
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
There are several verses in the Quran where kindness to parents is even coupled with the most important aspect of Islam, worshipping God alone. This indicates that being kind to parents, honouring and respecting them, is extremely important in the way of life that is Islam.
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.” (Quran 17:23)
No word of disrespect should be uttered toward a parent, nor even a look of resentment or contempt. Honouring parents can be considered a form of worship if the intention is to please Almighty God by respecting His commands.
God continues this verse by reminding us that parents are deserving of kindness because they raised their children with gentleness and often made great sacrifices for their wellbeing. His use of the word wing invokes the image of a mother bird tenderly shielding her young and calls to mind the gentleness that parents have for their children.
“And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.’” (Quran 17:24)
Please, read the attached websites for further information:
http://www.alminbar.com/khutbaheng/164.htm
http://www.guidedones.com/metapage/introislam/parents.htm
http://www.nmnonline.net/tenets/KINDNESSTOPARENTS.html
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
In the Holy Quran, Muslims have been urged to pray for the salvation of their parents as shown in the following verse:
"And say, My Lord, Have mercy on both of them as they cared for me when I was little".
Our parents deserve our honor, respect and attention!
there is a famous saying that We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves, that is completely true!
- It is debt that one hardly pays when somebody is harmlessly dutiful to his parents?
My parents are no more!
Still I remember as if they are alive! I see them everyday; respect them!
Still I pay respect, kindness to them, and help them as if I am with them.
This is my duty and I am dutiful!
Parents must be respect at any cost. Its our duty not a favor. We could understand this fact when we are not under the loving umbrella of blessings of parents because of any reasons; sometimes because of job, staying far away from parents' residence, spouse doesn't want to stay with in-laws, very sad if they are no more etc.
We should feel extremely lucky if we are blessed with blessings of our alive parents leading healthy and happy life.
Regards.
This is a very emotional paradigm. I feel entire humanity coexist due to mutual respect and tolerance. Parent-child relationship is transformative and inherited. Child learns mostly by observing parents and thus parents need to be better aware. Else vicious cycle would either be constructive or negative.
In this phenomenon, duty is a revolving concept. In the initial stage of upbringing and childhood it could be the duty parents, but later on it is the utmost duty of grown up child to perform the duty of care, respect and attention towards the parents. What to talk of presence of parents, even in their absence their blessing keep guiding us throughout.
Love your parents and treat them with loving care for you will only know their value when you see their empty chair.
I think reciprocity is the right way of respecting parents. Kindness is perhaps complimenting.
Dear All,
Bob, Mohamed and Nelson have been down-voted but I do not know why? I bear witness that I agree with their opinions. The discussion goes on.
Since my parents died, I regret deeply every moment that I have lost without being with them, expressing to them my gratefulness, and presenting them all services they deserve.
A son should never forget that his parents will suddenly disappear one day, and since then, it will be impossible to go back in order to correct mistakes committed toward them. So, try to enjoy every moment while your parents are still in life.
There is a Book Of Morality (道德经) from ancient Confucius teaching us Chinese about filial piety and people should study this book for being Some Body in all kinds of ancient examinations.
Of the traditional Chinese values, four are most prized: loyalty, filial piety, chastity, and righteousness; among all the good deeds, filial piety is the first. It is great that many people in our country still keep this tradition. Many people still try our best to care our younger generations down (kids, grandkids) and care our older generations up (parents, grandparents) ------nothing to do with favor or generous but a kind of instinct just because of the blood tie; some grandkids are cared by their grandparents and some grandparents are cared by their grandkids. It is a kind of instinct duty without any reasons, we should try our best to preserve parents and grandparents, and satisfy their requirements when their aging (some one may call these “stupid piety”). I sincerely wish such tradition can be carried on and on.
I am totally agree with the all panel members. It is our duty to take care our parents but I want to add one thing as we are good human beings, we should take care all old people, disabled people..etc....in our lifetime (every moment when we meet, met and will meet these type of people in all over the world.). It is not about our parents but about all people who are waiting for help..JUST HELP.................................IT IS REALLY OUR KINDNESSSS WHAT WORD WE SHOULD USE FOR THIS.....JUST DO IT..
Dear all,
We know that parents of either humans or animals take care their offsprigs by providing necessary things to grow and protect from dangers, including putting them selves in front of dangers. They do these self less acts not by kindness but by natural imperative and altruism. It is here where the notion of altruism is seen in action.
The evolutionary line, a line of consciousness and intelligence differentiates grown ups of human offspring from that of animals, in which the latter in most cases do not have strong relationships after they grow up and go their own way unlike humans. Therefore to reciprocate in kind and more to our parents is not kindness but natural imperative and a mandate of consciousness.
They, surely, deserve all respect ans care all time. The holy Quran(and in Bible I think) emphasizes that in many verses .here are some quotations:
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.
Alisraa (23)
Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.
Al-Nisa (36)
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.
Luqman(14)
verses from the holy bible would be welcomed if anybody knows some quotations/
Honoring the parents through:
1 / Implementation their desires.
2 / Treat them kindly: This includes using all the words and action and movement that entering the pleasure to themself,
3 / Show respect to them.
4 / courtship and graininess them.
5 /Gentle treatment
6 / pray for them
See the link for a very sad emotional story of a man who was sent to an old age home by his three sons, who were all well off. This unfortunate man tried to commit suicide but was saved in time by one of the inmates of the old age home. His sons were informed. They came and instead of sympathising with him, they shouted at him that he had insulted them by his action.
What a shame!.
http://www.parentous.com/2013/06/21/care-for-parents-in-old-age-care-for-old-parents-respect-old-age-parents/
Dear Behrouz,
I suspect any person who fails to recognize the works of parents and abandons them will do the same anywhere and he/she will not honor relations formed and commitments taken, as long as it does not bring comfort and self benefits - very sad.
The question can be looked from both perspective of parent and child, parent do perform their duty to raise the children, not necessary with the selfish desire to get protection during old age. The self respect of human remains till they are able and firm, Once the personal becomes helpless he requires care and respect, at this stage the child has duty to take care of parent as they took care when he/she was dependent. As social change in the era of modernization tried to transfer these duties by paying money to the agencies, houses or caretakers who can spend more time with ailing parents, children often feel satisfied. But the emotional requirements of the parents are to be with loved ones, they may deny themselves if they find you are not comfortable. Being with them is not biological necessity but an emotional bond.
Definitely YES. What all we have achieved in our life are because of their efforts sacrifices. They have spent their time and earning to make us educated, employed and reached a good position in life. Their affectionate care, emotional and financial supports have provided the platform for us to excel in our life. So it is our duty and responsibility to be kind enough to extend unlimited, unconditional love and care to them especially during their old ages.
Yes, kindness to parents is not only duty, rather it is a moral responsibility.
“Children, honor your parents in your hearts; bear them not only awe and respect, but kindness and affection: love their persons, fear to do anything that may justly provoke them; highly esteem them as the instruments under God of your being: for Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father.”
Jeremy Taylor
An interesting answer, in Arabic from Facebook:
https://fr-fr.facebook.com/oumahmed.rais
https://www.facebook.com/oumahmed.rais/posts/728755073914258
: " وَقَضى رَبُّكَ أَلّا تَعبُدوا إِلّا إِيّاهُ وَبِالوالِدَينِ إِحسانًا إِمّا يَبلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُما أَو كِلاهُما فَلا تَقُل لَهُما أُفٍّ وَلا تَنهَرهُما وَقُل لَهُما قَولًا كَريمًا ﴿٢٣﴾ وَاخفِض لَهُما جَناحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحمَةِ وَقُل رَبِّ ارحَمهُما كَما رَبَّياني صَغيرًا"
كثيرا ما نسمع في التفسير أن الله قرن ذكر الوالدين مع عبادته سبحانه، ولكن هناك ملمح آخر لا يذكره المفسرون وهو أن الله تعالى خص نفسه بالعبادة فلا تكون إلا له جل جلاله وأما الوالدان فمقامهما الإحسان، وإننا نرى في عصرنا هذا العبودية قد انصرفت إلى الوالدين فأصبح الأمر أمرهما والشرع ما يشرعانه والنهي ما ينهيان عنه، وإني أقولها بكل حسرة وأسى أصبحت العبودية لله بعد الوالدين ولا أقول ذلك جزافا فمن منا لا يعرف كم رجلا طلق زوجته إرضاء لأمه وشرّد أبناءه إرضاء لها، وكم من قاطع رحم يُرضي أمه بتلك المعصية العظيمة,,, وكم من أم ترضى عن ابن زان ولا ترضى عن ابن يعيش سعيدا مع زوجته وأبنائه، وكم من أم أو أب يرضى عن ابن سارق أو متحيل مادام يأخذ منه المال ويبدي سخطه على ابن مستقيم يشكو قلة المال..... أسألكم بالله هل هناك آية واحدة في القرآن الكريم ذكرت الوالدين مع لفظ الطاعة أو الإرضاء؟ إنه الإحسان والبر وحسن المعاملة والصحبة بالمعروف وأوصانا الله بعدم الإساءة إليهما خاصة في كبرهما. وفي ما عدى ذلك أنت أيها الإنسان لك شخصيتك وكيانك وذمة مالية مستقلة، أنت إنسان مستقل عن والديك تعيش حياتك بعقلك أنت لا بعقليهما، ترى بعينيك لا بعينيهما، تسمع بأذنيك لا بأذنيهما، تحب بقلبك لا بقلبيهما... أخيرا أقول إن عدم فهمنا لطبيعة العلاقة مع والدينا أورثنا مجتمعا مفككا، متمزقا متأخرا متخلفا,,, مجتمعا تسوده البغضاء والحقد وأنّى لمثل هذا المجتمع أن يزدهر فيه العلم والثقافة والأخلاق الحميدة وأنّى له أن يكون مجتمعا في صحة نفسية جيدة؟؟؟ متى نستفيق ونعبد الله بحق, لا أريد أن أنهي الكلام دون أن أذكر هذة الحادثة : أمّ تقول لابنها موبّخة "عندما أدعوك يجب عليك أن تقطع صلاتك وتأتي إليّ" فقيل لها "يقطع صلاة النافلة" فقالت "يقطع صلاته وإن كانت صلاة الفريضة". أمّ تجعل حقها على ابنها قبل حق الله الخالق جل في علاه؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
How we can talk about duty? Whatever we do for our parents it is not enough to refund their efforts and sacrifices, especially mothers. When, they are pregnant, they suffer and endure to give us life. Can we suffer, as our mothers, to take care of our parents?
Can someone evaluate their sacrifices, and suggest how refund them for that??!!!!!
In my point of view, the most important thing that our parents need in their old ages is to see and feel our love continuously.
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
"My parents taught me honesty, truth, compassion, kindness and how to care for people. Also, they encouraged me to take risks, to boldly go. They taught me that the greatest danger in life is not taking the adventure."
------- Brian Blessed
Parents are our best buddies, our first love, our first teachers, chief disciplinarians and our best friends. They deserve the very best and all our attention. I would do anything to impress them and make their lives the very best. The Bible in (Ephesians 6:2) says we should honor our father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise.
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
--- Anne Frank
“Children, honor your parents in your hearts; bear them not only awe and respect, but kindness and affection: love their persons, fear to do anything that may justly provoke them; highly esteem them as the instruments under God of your being: for Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father.”
―Jeremy Taylor
Chinese philosopher, Zengzi or Master Zeng (Chinese: 曾子), was known for filial piety. He talked about three levels/kinds of filial piety: The greatest kind is to respect your parents; the second greatest kind is to not cause them any shame; the lowest kind is to take care of them when they are old.
yes, when children need attention at that time parents always with them then its a moral duty of children to given attention to their parents...
Dear all, recently several of my friends who have children told me that it's best to save some money, so that we can go to an old folks' home and get some comfort in old age. They said that they cannot even expect their own children to care for them, although we in our time did care for our parents, uncles and aunts.
"Filial piety is diminishing in Chinese culture", but have a look at this paper.
http://www.hkag.org/Publications/AJGG/v1n1/31-T6.pdf
An old Indian Story
Of the many deities in Hinduism - the elephant headed - Ganesha is the first to be venerated in all the religious ceremonies. It is said that both the sons of Lord Shiva and Parvati - the elder one named Kartikeya and the younger named Ganesha once came to their parents and asked them that who is more powerful among them.
Shiva and Parvati decided on a contest in order to determine it. They told both their sons that the one who will first circumambulate the earth will be more powerful. Kartikeya was agile and well built - therefore he swiftly went on to his round of the earth. However, Ganesha did not move for sometime. Thereafter, he rose and slowly made seven rounds around his parents and sat down again.
When Kartikeya returned, he was amazed that Ganesha was already there. When the time of decision came, Lord Shiva asked Ganesha - 'Why didn't you participate in the contest?' Ganesha replied ' I did participate, and I circumambulated around the earth seven times.' 'For a son,' he answered, ' the parents are his world. I waled around you seven times, so i took seven rounds of my world in shorter time than Kartikeya took a single round of his world.'
Thereafter, Ganesha was given the boon for primary veneration.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-VeMx8YlyU
Depends a lot on the Culture you have brought up in, and also on how the Father and Mother was
Narayanan
Bob is right about selfishness in another way.
There is a story taught in our Moral Science class (I studied in a Christian Management School). A man used to feed his Father in a separate poor looking aluminium dish. After he died it got bent while being collected for disposal. The mans son, a very innocent young boy, noticed the dish then and he took it and wanted to keep it. When asked why, he replied (with love, of course) "Father I want to feed you in the same dish when you are too old and I am grown up).
The adage "as you sow, so you reap' is most true in this 'Looking-after-the-Old matter', isn't it? Moral science teaching will be helpful here. And sadly this often gets bye-passed as 'Religion'
Narayanan
Dear Bob
I have a doubt: How do you integrate sibling rivalry into your view point. For many rich people, a sibling means less inheritance too, isn't it?
Narayanan
If a child is an idol in the family, he will be a cruel idol. Bazarov, a cynical protagonist of the Turgenev's "Fathers and sons" ashamed of his parents and treated them. According to the intent of the author, Bazarov dies during a visit to his parents, and their life has stopped after his death. Blind love brings bad luck to everyone. Sometimes I think, why did Turgenev kill his hero? Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee?
Dear Qasim Mohammed Hussein,
Parental blessing on the water does not sink, the fire does not burn.
Regards, Shafagat
I believe that each of us wants to be forgiven by others, because we don’t like to be punished, and in the other side we can’t be perfect, free of harm and without failings. To forgive and be forgiven is a pact in a civilized society.
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
“If you're helping someone and expecting something in return, you're doing business not kindness.”
~UNKNOWN
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
Kindness to Parents: Duty and Devotion
If you type the words, “kindness to parents” in Google ,six of the first ten results are Islamic articles stressing the importance of being dutiful and kind to parents. Why is this so? Islam is a religion that stresses the qualities of mercy, tolerance and respect. God has ordained the good treatment of parents and warned us against treating them with disrespect. There are several verses in the Quran where kindness to parents is even coupled with the most important aspect of Islam, worshipping God alone. This indicates that being kind to parents, honouring and respecting them, is extremely important in the way of life that is Islam.
“and your lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but him, and goodness to your parents. if either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) "ugh" nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word.” (Quran 17:23)
No word of disrespect should be uttered toward a parent, nor even a look of resentment or contempt. Honouring parents can be considered a form of worship if the intention is to please Almighty God by respecting His commands.
Please, see the attached links for further readings about the subject:
https://www.islamweb.net/en/article/139144/the-significance-of-obedience-to-parents
http://www.parsquran.com/eng/subject/parents.htm
http://quransmessage.com/articles/parents%20FM3.htm
Good parents train good children and they do their best for their parents.
I still think that in the Decalogue it is written: "Honor thy father and thy mother, so you will benefit, but you will live long on the earth." The time of our earthly life and human well-being is directly linked to the commandment of honoring parents. Moreover, it is not written: "good parents": it seems it will be better for children to honor their parents, no judging them. But sometimes some parents are very cruel and unfair.
I also keep thinking, what "sort" of daughters, mothers and grandmothers am I myself...
We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.
-Henry Ward Beecher
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn’t believe me.
-Hussein Nishah
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