is there any reason for people not declaring what they feel about somebody else's ideas? How to explain anonimous downvoting between researchers at this community? What can we benifit if we all can say why we do not agree with another researcher? How much better will this community become with a true debate of ideas with people agreeing or going against us openly?
Good positive feelings are to be shown. Negative feelings are to be reconsidered. ( ! )
Something to do with the anonymity, I think. You would think twice if your name was shown.
In some cases, people think that the answer does not correspond to the question exactly.
Transparency and objectivity are main qualities of scientists and researchers. If we lose these qualities, we will lose our integrity, and consequently, the trust of people who expect a lot from us, especially our students. So we should all struggle to not lose the integrity of scientific community.
Dear Vilamar and all,
I see these men like to become judges. maybe if better that this community becomes a real debate of ideas.
Regards
Dear @Vilemar, I do not hide my feelings, I do share most of them with friends like you and many people here.
Good positive feelings are to be shown. Negative feelings are to be reconsidered. ( ! )
Yes, I think the debate would certainly stimulate discussion in defending one's position to down -vote another researcher's point. I recently published a short "5-minute Quick Hits" conference presentation on the use of debating in developing critical thinking among higher education students that can be useful here I think:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274720155_Debating_A_Dynamic_Teaching_Strategy_for_Motivating_Students_and_Teachers
Best regards,
Debra
Conference Paper Debating: A Dynamic Teaching Strategy for Motivating Student...
Feelings in most cases are irrational expressions which might be seen as weaknesses, which are taken not to be good qualities and people do not like that. Most of the time, only rational ideas can be shared with transparency and fearless from oppositions. But it is always good to express feelings, whether irrational or rational and opposition to an idea is not at all a bad thing but a reinforcement or a sharpener of the idea the opposition is intended to.
“Is there any reason for people not declaring what they feel about somebody else's ideas?”
Incapacity to discuss and accept different ideas with humility scientific or academic?
Hi everybody!
Well, some people don't deserve to know the truth, and sometimes they are better off not knowing it.
On the other hand, sometimes you may not build the courage to share your feelings, and there are times when you are better off not sharing your true feelings.
“We try so hard to hide everything we're really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most. People try to bottle up their emotions, as if it's somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life.” ― Colleen Hoover
People from some cultures live in larger communities
http://eli.uta.edu/orientation/Orient.1_culture.pdf
May me a poll asking us what we think about this anonymity could be interesting. A lot of thinkers are being judged by people who refuse to think with us. They want to hide and the debate stops right their unknown oarticipation. The world can be changed by dialoguing and not by punishments from whom does not have the courage to express his negative opinions. A bad attitude can put down a researcher. How can RG accept this negative opinion if not even RG knows the reason of the anonymous non researcher manifestation. The scores of those who stand up for the dialogue go down and the one with reasons unknown will have the right to discredit years of hard studies. What if the anonymous downvoter is laughing to death when he is casting his protest? What if he is drunk? On drugs? Depressed? Will people in such a situation continue to have the right to say no and punish the ones who worked so diligently for years, hours on end?
Normally, everybody wishes to have a very positive and frictionless relation between other people. Nobody really wishes to make others worried and embarrassed. Expressing positive feelings creates a positive energy between two persons whoa are not much close or familiar to each other. But very close people will definitely share all sorts of their feelings among themselves as it rarely creates embarrassing situations.
This is a question on human psychology. Human beings are social animals. Like all other animals, humans are most concerned about their own security, in the first place. How secure one feels, largely determines the level of personal happiness. Happy people spread happiness through their interactive behavior. Insecure people are always apprehensive of others and do not want to willingly contribute to others' happiness and give biased judgement - openly or covertly. BALANCED people, take in their stride, both appreciation and criticism, and are thus, not discouraged in their good work, nor exult on false achievements - this philosophy is derived from the ancient treatise on self- and social-management, 'Bhagvad Gita'.
Dear Vilemar,
I think you may find there are as many different answers for this question as there are answerers, and perhaps any answer as valid as another?
However, on the basest level, it is probably something on the level of animal-instinct that tells us it is not wise as far as our reproductive success to broadcast negative feelings (such as thoughts which may offend others directly, or their kin, and get around, and provoke attacks from them on us, or our offspring, or at the very least to provoke them to withhold favors like SEX, shelter, food or financial resources, for us or our offspring ... or even future opportunities to marry / mate / reproduce ???).
Didn't YOUR mother raise you with the admonishment that "if you can't say something nice, then just don't say anything at all!" Well, what she was really saying was she hoped that one day you would be able to find a wife, and that you two would give her grand-children.
So, I think the ability of self-restraint from revealing negative feelings probably has evolved among we humans as a social adaptation to ensure reproductive success.
My kindest regards,
Bob Skiles
All people do not hide their feelings for others, Introvert people do!
Some of us do not hide our feelings. Feelings are a part of human nature, and good when they are guided by REASON AND GOOD PRINCIPLES.
Dear Vilemar, from my observations, some people downvote for various reasons. At times, it could be for the post that's not clear due to grammar. I haven't downvoted although I have downvotes that my friends will inform me.
I have a feeling that if the RG score is removed, there won't be downvoting due to bad feelings of envy, and I will be happy if RG doesn't score us. Each of us is different and the conditions that we work in are different. (To find the few minutes for RG each day is not always easy.)
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
Everyone is different.
Some reasons for holding feelings in might be --
--fear of what others will think
--taught by parents to keep feelings private
--regrets as a result of a bad experience.
There are three ways to cope with feelings:
- Admit them
- Accept them as real, and
- Then develop ways of handling them.
I certainly do not share all my feelings with others, I need to trust a person before I will share my inner feelings.
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
Emotions are energy in motion and since it is our energy we can use it any way we like. We can do this by modifying our beliefs about our behaviors/feelings and redirect our energy in a more positive way.
Unexpressed feelings are like weeds in a garden. They can take root and choke out any good feelings you once had. Unexpressed feelings lead to anger, resentment and depression. Your body and mind suffer greatly when you don't express how you really think and feel.
Most people tend to deny their thoughts and feelings and hide them because they are afraid that their mate and loved ones won't love them anymore. They are afraid that no one would love or care for the "real person" that they are inside.
If you don't lighten your load by unpacking and releasing your baggage of emotions you will eventually self-destruct. You will waste away feeling unloved and misunderstood. This can be devastating to you and to the people around you. You will be like a volcano with hot lava inside that will eventually erupt and destroy anything in its path. This eruption of unexpressed feelings will happen at the most inconvenient time. It will happen when you least expect it and where it will do the most damage - to your love relationship.
please, see the following links for further information:
http://www.mysahana.org/2011/12/hiding-your-feelings-makes-you-a-weak-conversationalist/
http://www.positive-way.com/newpage3.htm
Dear Vilemar,
It is not so diffilcult to reveal the downvoters, if you are an active member of RG.
Downvoters are the 'salt' of RG, it's something interesting to find, but, after a small search, you can identify all of them.
So, don't bother so much about them (I can ensure you that most of them-except random cases- have a lot of personal problems...)
Good to hide some of our feelings to others if he does not agree with his idea or the nature of his life in order to not feel frustrated. Most people hide their sense of politicians and security men, especially in the Middle East.
Dear Vilemar
I share my feelings and thoughts about the questions with the colleagues and the panel members, but do not hide. In my personal opinion, we, all, should share our thoughts, feelings and knowledge about the topic and discuss it through the community. May be sometime somebody does not like your thoughts, feelings and knowledge and down voting which reduce Your RG score but I think that does not matter. We should go ahead by debate with good things which are going to be fruitful, useful to the society. I think people of the world should think good things and debate is the best medium to find a gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddddddddddddd..
As human beings, we belong to the animal kingdom & not to the kingdom of glass where everything is transparent. At the top of animal kingdom, man/woman is positioned with a capacity to be explicit or in-explicit. I am against anonymity in purely scientific scholarly communities. I am against hiding the good feelings towards other persons around. However, I can understand those who hide their feelings in the presence of tyrants or ruthless dictators or inside police states that are governed by secret despotic security services.
Downvoters are a group of psychologists.They try to carefully review their own hypothesis by watching our reaction.Their aim is to examine the individual tolerance threshold(the growth of psychological strain,after that an individual enters into a conflict or gives way to frustration).It's a favorite and rather effective trick of our bureaucracy.To me,it's very difficult to manipulate the consciosness of intellectuals.Paraphrasing Sir L.Spencer-Churchill,intellectuals are "a riddle wrapped in a mystery,inside an enigma".In our chaotic world it's better to love and appreciate those who do good and support you.Nobody can reach a consensus through evil.
People are gifted differently. what is important is the quality of dealing with other persons
I think the debates we see in RG are interesting and reflect a genuine exchange of ideas. Yes, occasionally -perhaps with increasing frequency- we see down votes that do not have real reasons. But it seems to me that the authors are a small minority. Maybe we should see how to get more people involved in the discussions !!
When people hide more it is known as high context environment and when hide less it is known as low context environment of business. I am talking about International Business perspectives.
For expressing feelings, in general, this also depends on a person's personality type. Some people are more extroverted, and some are more introverted. Introverted people tend to be quite and bottle their feelings inside, and tent to remain emotions private.
By the way, people sometimes hide their feelings (and not wish to express the truth) is simply because they don't want to hurt the other person's feeling. In this case, a highly skillful way is needed to express what you want to point out without hurting the other person's feeling.
Coke as a beverage evokes not just feelings of invigoration and sociability — something its maker has long known and exploited in its ads — but feelings of calm, solitude and relaxation as well.
http://70-40-221-61.bluehost.com/media/2002%20New%20York%20Times.pdf
Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness.
--- Allen Ginsberg
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
"It's important not to indicate. People don't try to show their feelings, they try to hide them."
------- Robert De Niro
There are very many reasons that will make people hide their feelings. Psychologists can be able to figure out most of them but my thinking is would be that it is something that happens to all of us. I would not want to show my enemy that I am weak and neither would I want to act so overjoyed and on top of the world after scoring a victory. We choose to express or not express feelings based on how we are nurtured, people we interact with, books we read, religion we profess, the society and communities we live in. That's my 2 cents though.
Do people hide feelings to protect themselves or to protect others in social networks?
Dear All,
Before ascribing evil / malevolent / negative connotations to the hiding of feelings / emotions / motivations, I suggest contemplating that Satan follows this policy with few men, the Almighty God with all-but-a-very-few (Of course, we can all think immediately of a few exceptions, like Moses, Solomon, the prophet Mohammed, Jesus, the most beloved of God, with whom He was very forthcoming)! But, if we follow God's example for how He has dealt with most of humanity (and, like Him, even exempt from this policy a few of those persons whom we most dearly love), then may not this policy, this behavior of hiding-all-from-overt-view, or public display, be construed as "godliness" (that is., emulating God's example of how-we-should-behave)? And if not, why not?
Just asking?
Bob Skiles
Can hidden feelings be revealed in dreams?
Perhaps hidden feelings from others are revealed in dreams, e.g. via clairvoyance?
Thus, can personal feelings be hidden?
With RG friends I am more open while with colleagues and others I tend to be diplomatic not to affect relations or their feelings.
No one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes.
--- Paulo Coelho
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
--- Oscar Wilde
Preferred Ideal State System
- All members of the group can hear others’ ideas and feelings stated openly
- Group members can safely test out ideas that are not yet fully formed
- Group members can receive and respond to respectful but honest and constructive feedback. Feedback could be positive, negative, or merely clarifying or correcting factual questions or errors, but is in all cases delivered respectfully.
- Arguments, while they may be spirited, are based on the content of ideas and opinions, not on personalities
http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/leadership/group-facilitation/group-discussions/main
I want to share one quote attributed to our country's senator, the feisty Miriam Defensor Santiago:
"When you are being nice to a person you hate, it is not being plastic, it is being courteous and educated."
We may hide our true feelings because showing it may hurt people and would cause much trouble to yourself and to others.
There is a perfect time for everything, and showing one's true feelings towards another also has a perfect timing.
When you downvote a researcher's response, you are just downvoted his answer, not him.
“In the kingdom of glass everything is transparent, and there is no place to hide a dark heart.”
― Vera Nazarian
Dear Subhash,
Whoever Vera Nazarian is, it seems she has had little experience of this real and often harsh world that WE live in, for I have yet to experience a single "glass kingdom" but "dark hearts" certainly abound, both openly and hidden all-around!
Regards,
Bob Skiles
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
"It's important not to indicate. People don't try to show their feelings, they try to hide them."
------ Robert De Niro
I think that this is connected with what is happening intrapersonal conflict actors , i.e. people can't open up or talk about, because it's like he thinks he does not understand that his values do not coincide with the values of his opponent. Happens intrapersonal dissonance caused by external factors.
My submission as possible reasons,
1. They do not want to hurt others by being blunt. (hide true emotions)
2. They want to avoid conflict.
3. They sometimes hide true emotions as they have some hidden motives which might get affected by their true emotions.
4. They feel that recipient is not going to accept it in a rational way.
Good link dear Marković. People there almost always conclude that hiding emotions causes anxiety crises and that is true.
Basically, what I'm saying is there is nothing fake about what I do. I'm up-front, I'm real, I'm honest and I'm open with my feelings.
--- Christina Aguilera
There is an adage in our Culture
Say the Truth
Say Pleasant things
Do not say Unpleasant Truths
Do not say Untruths just because they are Pleasant
People lie because they do not want to tell unpleasant truths which may hurt themselves or the hearer
Narayanan
Yes, Dear Narayanan Bhattathiri,
What is most difficult is; saying truth!
Subhash
It is not always difficult to speak the truth and it is not always easy to tell a lie. For example, it is easy tell a topper that he has topped, and it is difficult tell a failure that he has flunked. Mincing words is not always hiding feelings, when we are being polite or jubilant. The problem arises when we give disinformation from the hiding, to hurt someone's interests. That is what is the main concern of the questioner.
Rakesh
You are right. That is why in the Medical PGfield (where you know the result when the viva is over), the Examiner will say: You have been given an opportunity to be with us for some more time/improve yourself etc.,
I once read the Notice from the Govt. to a Research Lab in UK. The Government cut the public funding, but they told the Lab that thy have been given an opportunity to raise funds from outside!
;-)
Narayanan
I would add: Is it helpful? I have learned by encouragement to trust my ideas. I have learned from correction and guidance how to clarify my ideas. Both are important.
Hiding of emotions is an behavioral evolution in compared to animals that cannot do so. Usually, It could save us from unnecessary conflicts that may even treat our lives or could make us a competent person in social life who can climb to higher positions. However we as the humans do this in two ways:
1-We force ourselves to react opposite to what we fell inside, maybe it could be a positive reaction that might save us from a disaster like a provisional conflict or let us sell something better. However, doing so is a lie in essence both to ourselves and the others and creates a burden on our mental power and shape of personality. In fact we are paying a price that might be more than what we earn in most cases. Maybe it makes somebody a better politician or businessman but the pileup of emotions have some consequences in how we appreciate ourselves inward and finally how we are appreciated outward.
2- Some people could neglect their bad feelings easily because of having a heart full of compassion. This type of heart would not hurt easily by the inputs which could cause the normal heart to beat crazy so it could even give positive output to negative inputs! If the hiding of emotions is happening this way they may even enjoy from the process which happens inside their heart when converting the bad feeling to good one. In this case it is not hiding but disappearing of bad emotions which happens.
Dear Vilemar. I am glad that you wrote: " How much better will this community become with a true debate of ideas with people agreeing or going against us openly?"
I truly agree with that last sentence. But when we talk of downvoting, it's less of hiding feelings, it's more like VENTING FEELINGS UNDER THE COVER OF ANONYMITY. OR IT'S HIDING IDENTITY. (AND we do have people who are honest on RG. Isn't that part of what we practice in all our work as researchers?)
https://www.researchgate.net/post/Anonymity_in_science_What_is_the_reason_for_concealing_identity_What_do_you_think_of_this_phenomenon
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
"Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly."
---- Lawrence G. Lovasik
There are several justifications:
1. Strength of Personality .
2. Convinced that if the person revealed his feelings then this will exploit against him..
3- Lack the trust in others.
4- Do not hold his feelings for others.
5- Maintaining the confidentiality of personal matters.
6 - The pride of the person.
Should we let someone guess about our feelings? Is it matter of culture, or just personal issue?
Dear Ljubomir, I don't think it's anything too difficult about being transparent. Perhaps it's our training to stick to facts, and truth as we perceive it. I remember that our knowledge is imperfect, but we must act based on that. Making guesses is likely to yield many errors, knowing the propensity to error in humans.
Dear Qasim, you have a simple yet accurate list about why some people hide their feelings, and Hazim has a great quote on how we can move on in life, by forgiving. Thanks.
Yes Roland, sometimes I wonder if our discipline and integrity would hold up in times of great suffering. See the links of how people suffered in world war II, here and in Poland. Would we speak the truth when the lives of our dear ones are at stake?
http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/world/2015/08/14/abe-japan-caused-immeasurable-damage-and-suffering-in-ww2/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_crimes_in_occupied_Poland_during_World_War_II
Dear @Marcel, what is the evidence that animals can hide emotions? Animals have capacities to fell, thus they have emotions.
Emotions: Why Do Some People Hide Their Emotions?
So a lot of pressure can arise from ones society and here, men will generally need to hide how they feel and women will be free to express how they feel. But at the same time, society also promotes repression in general.
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/emotions-why-do-some-people-hide-their-emotions
What about faking in animals? What is the substantial difference between hiding emotions and faking?
http://s3.amazonaws.com/academia.edu.documents/30892408/Faking.pdf?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ56TQJRTWSMTNPEA&Expires=1441110676&Signature=%2FoKc8Kv0zgmyKbNkho3GeprnJzE%3D&response-content-disposition=inline
Thanks for the fine chapter A SOCIOANALYTIC VIEW OF FAKING by J. A. JOHNSON AND R. HOGAN John A. Johnson and Robert Hogan. It is a long reading.
Hi, Marcel, Long time no see!
When the Red Knight paints his mustache green it is faking; when he covers this green mustache it is hiding (then why did he paint it green)
To be more serious, I think faking is one method for hiding emotions; another is to keep a stiff upper lip; mustache or not
Narayanan
“Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.”
― André Malraux
Yes and this is funny that another Canadian does not like to ask some personal questions as age, religion, etc.
It is very difficult to live a single day without hiding the feelings from others.
For example, are we happy by seeing sleepy audience while presenting in the conference? What'll happen if we are showing our original feeling?
https://www.researchgate.net/post/How_do_you_control_sleepy_audience_in_a_Conference_or_in_a_Class-room
There are lots of examples like the above, in our home, lab, classroom, office, everywhere....
Simply, we are hiding our feelings to keep the environment calm & smooth.
I think a person hides his/her ideas or beliefs when his/her ideas or beliefs are not credible for others. But when they are credible, they can be put at the light.
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