Psychological Package on Decision-Making for Marital Reconciliation

Overview: Decision-making regarding marital reconciliation is a complex process often influenced by various emotional, psychological, and relational factors. Couples considering whether to reconcile after a separation or potential divorce typically face "mixed-agenda" situations, where one partner may be more inclined toward divorce while the other favors reconciliation. In such cases, therapeutic interventions like discernment counseling can help couples explore their options in a structured environment. This package outlines key considerations and evidence-based approaches in guiding couples through this decision-making process.

Key Components:

1. Discernment Counseling for Mixed-Agenda Couples: Discernment counseling is an approach specifically designed for couples where one partner is leaning toward divorce, while the other is interested in preserving the relationship. This short-term intervention helps couples gain clarity and confidence in their decision-making by exploring the dynamics of their relationship and whether reconciliation or divorce is the best course of action. Research indicates that this method allows couples to thoroughly examine their feelings and motivations, fostering mutual understanding and informed decisions (Harris et al., 2021).

2. Impact of Marital Commitment Uncertainty: Commitment uncertainty is a major factor in the decision-making process for reconciliation. Galovan et al. (2021) found that fluctuations in marital commitment can significantly influence a couple’s ability to make clear decisions about reconciliation. Discernment counseling often helps stabilize these feelings by addressing underlying issues such as lack of trust, miscommunication, or differing expectations about the marriage.

3. Cognitive-Behavioral Approaches to Marital Reconciliation: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques can be useful in helping couples address negative interaction patterns and distorted perceptions about their partner. By focusing on improving communication skills, empathy, and conflict resolution strategies, couples can develop a more realistic view of their relationship, increasing the likelihood of reconciliation (Doss et al., 2022). Integrating CBT into discernment counseling helps partners reframe their thought processes and move away from destructive cycles.

4. Long-Term Considerations in Reconciliation Decisions: Longitudinal studies on marital reconciliation show that decisions are often influenced by long-term adjustments and the couple's ability to address the root causes of their conflict (Emerson, Harris, & Ahmed, 2021). Understanding these factors can help therapists provide better support to couples, especially in post-separation scenarios where ambiguity about future relationships is high. Couples need to be encouraged to explore both short-term emotional needs and long-term relationship goals.

Therapeutic Recommendations:

Discernment Counseling: Initiating this process with couples unsure about the future of their marriage can promote clearer decision-making.

Cognitive-Behavioral Interventions: These should be integrated to help couples challenge dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors that may be impeding reconciliation.

Attachment-Based Techniques: Addressing attachment issues can help repair emotional disconnection, which is often at the heart of marital dissatisfaction.

Conclusion: Counseling focused on decision-making in marital reconciliation must consider a blend of emotional, cognitive, and relational factors. Discernment counseling is an effective framework for couples facing uncertainty, while interventions such as CBT and attachment-based techniques can support their journey toward a well-considered decision.

References (APA 7th Edition):

Doss, B., Roddy, M., Wiebe, S., & Johnson, S. (2022). A review of the research (2010-2019) for evidence-based treatments for couple relationship distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 48(1). https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12552

Emerson, A. J., Harris, S. M., & Ahmed, F. (2021). The impact of discernment counseling on individuals who decide to divorce: Experiences of post-divorce communication and coparenting. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 46(3), 385-398.

Galovan, A. M., Hawkins, A. J., Harris, S. M., & Simpson, D. (2021). What are they doing? A national survey of relationship-repair behavior of those thinking about divorce. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 47(2), 150-162. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12553

Harris, S. M., Crabtree, S. A., Bell, N. K., Allen, S. M., & Roberts, K. M. (2021). Seeking clarity and confidence in the divorce decision-making process. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, 58(1), 83-95. https://doi.org/10.1080/10502556.2016.1268015

Hello dear Erin

actually it was the best answer. I do appreciate your kindness and helpful guidance

hello

The subject of my doctoral dissertation is "Development and Validation of the Sustainable Marital Reconciliation Model and Its Effectiveness on the Decision for Marital Reconciliation". I am stuck for the arrangement of the second chapter of the thesis and what headings it should have. Maybe you can help me and tell me how you searched to find the useful information in the previous note.

Erin E. Fry

Maryam Karimi Absolutely, I'd be happy to help you organize the second chapter of your doctoral dissertation, which is focused on "Development and Validation of the Sustainable Marital Reconciliation Model and Its Effectiveness on the Decision for Marital Reconciliation."

For a dissertation like yours, the second chapter generally serves as the literature review. In this chapter, you will summarize and critically evaluate existing research related to your topic. You will want to establish the theoretical framework, the context for your research, and the gaps that your study aims to fill. The structure should be logical and clearly show the progression of your thinking as you move toward presenting your model.

Here’s an outline with suggested headings for your second chapter:

Chapter 2: Literature Review

1. Introduction

Briefly introduce the purpose of the chapter.

Define key concepts (e.g., marital reconciliation, sustainable reconciliation, marital decision-making).

Provide an overview of the structure of the chapter.

2. Conceptual Framework of Marital Reconciliation

Overview of marital reconciliation: What does it mean? How is it typically understood in the literature?

Historical and cultural perspectives on marital reconciliation.

Common theories/models related to marital reconciliation, e.g., forgiveness, communication, conflict resolution.

3. Factors Affecting Marital Reconciliation

Psychological factors: attachment styles, individual emotional needs, trust, empathy.

Social factors: family dynamics, social support, cultural or religious expectations, social norms.

Behavioral factors: communication patterns, conflict resolution strategies, shared values.

External factors: financial stress, external relationships, life transitions (children, aging, etc.).

4. Theories and Models of Marital Reconciliation

Conflict theory in marriage and reconciliation.

Attachment theory and its application to reconciliation.

Forgiveness models: the role of forgiveness in reconciliation.

Decision-making models: how couples make decisions to reconcile (cost-benefit analysis, risk perception, etc.).

Sustainability of reconciliation: How long-lasting or "sustainable" is marital reconciliation? Are there models that show long-term outcomes?

5. The Role of Counseling and Intervention in Marital Reconciliation

Review the literature on marital counseling, therapy, and interventions aimed at facilitating reconciliation.

What strategies or therapeutic models (e.g., emotionally focused therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy) have been most effective?

The impact of online interventions or modern technology in facilitating reconciliation.

6. Validation of Reconciliation Models

Overview of validation processes used in the development of marital models.

Discuss the challenges in validating relationship models and interventions.

Previous attempts at model validation in marital reconciliation (i.e., validation studies, reliability studies).

7. Effectiveness of Marital Reconciliation

What studies have measured the effectiveness of marital reconciliation models or interventions?

Success rates, challenges, and outcomes of marital reconciliation.

Long-term effects: Does marital reconciliation lead to a durable, lasting relationship, or are there patterns of relapse?

8. Gaps in the Literature and the Need for the Sustainable Marital Reconciliation Model

Identify the gaps in the existing literature (e.g., lack of models focused on long-term sustainability, need for more empirical data, etc.).

Discuss how these gaps inform the need for your model and research.

Why is it important to consider both the process and outcomes of marital reconciliation in a sustainable way?

9. Conclusion

Summarize the key points covered in the chapter.

Discuss how the literature review has informed your research questions and the development of your model.

Transition to the next chapter, where you will describe your methodology and research approach.

Researching for Your Literature Review:

To find useful information for the above sections, I would suggest the following steps:

1. Use Academic Databases:

Google Scholar, JSTOR, PsycINFO, and PubMed are excellent places to start. Search terms like “marital reconciliation,” “sustainable marriage,” “decision-making in marriage,” “marital counseling,” “forgiveness in relationships,” and “relationship sustainability” will yield a variety of sources.

2. Review Key Journals:

Look for articles in journals like Journal of Marriage and Family, Family Relations, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, and Psychological Science.

3. Theoretical Texts:

Use classic and contemporary texts on marital theory, such as works by John Gottman, Susan Johnson, Harville Hendrix, and Janet S. H. Dyregrov. These are often cited when discussing marital dynamics and reconciliation.

4. Systematic Reviews:

Look for systematic reviews or meta-analyses on marital therapy, reconciliation models, and decision-making in relationships. These papers summarize and critically evaluate a wide range of studies and can save you time by providing comprehensive overviews.

5. Research Databases for Methodology:

You will also need to look at how others have approached validation and measurement. Key texts on scale development and model validation (like AERA Guidelines, Salkind’s books on research methods, and Creswell’s research designs) can be useful.

6. Dissertations and Thesis:

Checking other dissertations can give you ideas on structuring and on literature to include in your review. Websites like ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Global are great for this.

Hopefully by following this structure, you'll be able to create a well-organized and comprehensive second chapter that builds a strong foundation for your own model! Good Luck!

-Erin Fry

Erin E. Fry

Erin E. Fry Hello and regards

I am writing an article titled "The lived experience of couples who have achieved sustainable marital reconciliation, a phenomenological study". I have the basic concepts and sub-themes but I am stuck for the main themes and axes of the study. I would appreciate your help?

Hi Maryam!

I think what you already have in your concepts and sub-themes can be gathered under a few broader “main themes” to help you feel more grounded. For example:

Turning points: how couples talk about the crisis moment and the choice to try again.

Ways of reconnecting: the practices, conversations, or rituals that marked the shift back into relationship.

Forgiveness and trust: the process of loosening the hold of hurt and taking the risk of vulnerability again.

Growth together: reconciliation as more than repair, becoming a new way of seeing each other and the marriage.

Anchors for sustainability: the habits, meanings, or supports that make reconciliation last.

Alongside those themes, you might imagine some axes running through the stories:

Time (before rupture, during reconciliation, after).

Relational levels (self, couple, wider family/community).

Meaning-making (practical skills on one side, existential/spiritual grounding on the other).

This way your structure comes from the lived experiences themselves, but it also hints at how those pieces could later fit into your sustainable reconciliation model. It keeps the writing flexible, and gives you room to let participant voices guide how each theme takes shape.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

-Erin