Eminent friends:

In India, there are many reported cases of suicides by school children either for not passing the 10th or 12th standards in schools or for not securing enough marks to enable them admission in engineering (top disciplines) or medical institutes which are highly competitive. This is a very alarming matter in India. My home state, Tamil Nadu, has taken note of this and as a remedial measure, it allows "improvement" exam immediately after the results are announced so that one either passes the (failed) subjects or improves the subjects with less marks. School children are very sensitive and they have more fear of failure compared to adults, who may be more mature.

Dear Sundarapandian Vaidyanathan,

I recollect a sentence from an Essay on Fear in Hindi,which I have gone through,long back."Dar naam ka cheez kya hai?"(What is the thing that is called Fear?)

we can say that by Fear(from the Point of View of Academics) we mean a State of Mind,not being Confident of Accomplishing a certain Task, like Understanding,Reproducing,making use of the available Resources to Complete a Task,or Completing In Time,or Defending Our Action.Being afraid of the Result of Our Action whether it will be as Expected or not,Being Penalized for not coming up to the Mark,Causing some Repairable or Irreparable Damage in the Process,or being Heckled for not Accomplishing the Expected Task etc.also do Contribute to Fear.

Fear can be Overcome only by having Confidence,which can be achieved only by having an Open Mind,Exposure to the Situation,knowledge of available Resources and how to Exploit them to our Advantage,How to Present the case and Justify our Action,even if the Results are Adverse etc.

One other way is to Accept the challenge immediately and then go thinking about the Solution.This is a Rash Action.Instead,ask for a little Time,not too much,contemplate and accept if one is confident of atleast understanding the Problem and get an Idea of How to make an Headway though not the Complete Solution. Once We start we will find the way to further openings. In my View Refusal to think is the Foundation of Fear.

If one is Prepared to face the Most Adverse Result Possible and then How to Get on with it,then there can be no scope for Fear at all.

Having initiated the Starting, rest of my Ideas will Follow as the Replies start Pouring in.

This way,I can say,I have overcome my Fear of Participating in the Discussions.

Regards.

P.S.

Dear Sundarapandian Vaidyanathan,

Here is an example from the real life: I got all of a sudden a phobia for driving. It lasted 1,5 years. The man in the house got tired of this and drove me to the airport. He took his luggage, throw the car keys in my lap and left in the plane. I was sitting in the wood, started the car and discovered that nothing was wrong with my driving. I have never feared driving since then:). Coclusion: go through what you fear and the fear disappears. And after we are dead the fear of death is also gone.  

I think that there should be a basic component of education, to train children how to get up after some failure. We want "failure" to make them stronger and not to kill them!

Thus one has to experience many failures, survive and then be ready to go on! A selfish person can not stand "failures"! A failure can destroy them!  

Just entered this question. My first proposal is don´t embrace your fear of failures, learn how to manage this missing success. And as Costas told us, we have to learn to accept mistakes by education as childs but also as adults, day for day and especially  as scientist or managers.

Eminent friends:

In India, there are many reported cases of suicides by school children either for not passing the 10th or 12th standards in schools or for not securing enough marks to enable them admission in engineering (top disciplines) or medical institutes which are highly competitive. This is a very alarming matter in India. My home state, Tamil Nadu, has taken note of this and as a remedial measure, it allows "improvement" exam immediately after the results are announced so that one either passes the (failed) subjects or improves the subjects with less marks. School children are very sensitive and they have more fear of failure compared to adults, who may be more mature.

For a new employee in an organization, the fear of failure may be there in the initial few years.

The management plays a big role in inspiring the candidate and instilling confidence.

I have a few mentors at my University who help me when I embark in any new endeavor. I am very grateful to them for their kind advice and moral support.

I had once a mentor, he really did his best to make me fail. He was such a big disappointment. - There is no other way in life than to try, try often, fail and fail often, then you do not react so strongly and seriously to your weaknesses anymore. Every failure makes you a bit stronger. And one day your weakness turns out to be your strongest asset.

Words of a very wise person:

"Every failure makes you a bit stronger. And one day your weakness turns out to be your strongest asset."

The story of a great Indian actor - Amitabh Bachchan - Excerpts:

"Dreams as a child

Amitabh says, "I never thought as a child that I'll enter films. When we went to see films in Allahabad, I never imagined that one day I'll be on the big screen."

Amitabh began his studies in Allahabad and then went to Sherwood College, a boarding school in the hills of Nainital and it was at Sherwood that the young Amitabh found his passion for acting.

Amitabh completed his formal education from Kirori Mal College of Delhi with double Master of Arts degrees from Delhi University.

After completing his education in the national capital, Bachchan headed eastward to Calcutta to earn his livelihood. His first job was with Shaw Wallace and he later worked as a freight broker for the shipping firm Bird and Co. But considerations of livelihood and a regular pay at the end of the month was no compensation for what the heart desired. By 1968, young Amit had decided to give it all up, because Amitabh Bachchan wanted to spend his life doing what he wanted to do and he wanted to act.

In the city of dream and opportunities

The tall and lanky young man boarded a train that took him to the city of opportunity and heartbreak. Bombay did not embrace its biggest creation to be with open arms. It was a ruthless place where dreams were bought and sold and where deification of a silver screen god masked the plaintive call of a thousand broken hopes lying crushed on an unfeeling studio floor.

For some time it seemed that Amitabh's unconventional looks and great height would see him make his way back to a life of dejection. Every filmmaker that he approached thought he was too tall at 6 feet 3 inches. They thought him a bit too dark to be exposed on film.

In desperation Amitabh tried to use the one other unique characteristic that he had, his deep baritone. But here too, Bachchan failed. He was rejected by the All India Radio after an audition test.

Then in 1969, when Amitabh was on the verge of giving it all up, came his break as Khwaja Ahmed Abbas cast Amitabh in Saat Hindustani and Bachchan was one of the seven.

The film wasn't a financial success, but Amitabh Bachchan won his first National Award as the best newcomer and so took wings the amazing acting career of one who would be the Big B in Bollywood.

A National Award in his kitty did not smooth the path to glory for Amitabh. He still had to struggle. Producers lining up to sign him were still a thing for the future. Bachchan did voice overs and smaller roles that took his career nowhere. But then came Anand.

Hrishkesh Mukherjee's heart wrenching film had Hindi cinema's biggest star of those times Rajesh Khanna playing the lead, but Amitabh Bachchan did not go unnoticed. He got the Film Fare Award that year for the Best Supporting Actor and this time the award was for a movie that was both critically acclaimed and successful commercially.

But Amitabh was still the nice tall young man who could act. It was only with his 13th film that anger entered the scene and it was Zanjeer that catapulted Amitabh to fame.

A new dawn

"Zanjeer changed things. That's when success came to me. It was a great film. Anybody in that film would have done well. It gave me a powerful role," Bachchan said later.

Prakash Mehra directed the movie and Amitabh's role was probably the first portrayal of a middle class anti-hero in Hindi cinema. An honest police officer fights the corrupt violent system from within. But failing in the attempt he revolts and takes on the fight as an outsider using crooked means.

This marked a new beginning. Hindi cinema now had its angry young man. And riding the waves of the popularity of this particular typecast began a remarkable journey of fame and success.

After Zanjeer offers started pouring in and Amitabh had regular work and it was on the film set that he met his would be wife actress Jaya Bhaduri.

"First I saw her pictures, she looked small, cute and impish. Then Hrishikesh approached me for Guddi, and I came to know that Jaya was the actress. I first met her on the sets. We liked each other's company, went out together and had a good group on the sets," says Amitabh.

Love had blossomed and it turned to commitment during the making of Abhimaan film that released a month after their wedding.

When asked what attracted Jaya to Amitabh physically, Jaya coyly says, "His eyes. But it's impossible to explain...so many personal things."

Not only with Jaya, Amitabh's magic, his trademark deep baritone voice, his tall persona, and intense eyes did their trick on the audience as well.

By the mid seventies, Amitabh Bachchan had established himself as a force to contend with in Bollywood but superstardom was yet to come.

The year 1975 saw the release of Amitabh's two biggest blockbusters till date.

First came Ramesh Sippy's Sholay and when Jai died on screen, the audiences' horrified gasp betrayed the birth sound of a new phenomenon - the birth of Amitabh the superstar.

And then there was Yash Chopra's Deewar. Amitabh is the anti-hero, one who plays a lowly dockyard coolie who has to become rich by any means. Thus the superstar Amitabh was truly on his way to becoming a one-man film industry.

Every film producer knew that if he cast Amitabh Bachchan in his film, he had a hit. From being a sidelight on the scene, Amitabh Bachchan had transformed to become the undisputed king of the celluloid world. His screen persona reflected the angst of the 1970. In him was embodied the pent up resentment of unemployment, of social deprivation and individual degradation but in him the audiences found a champion too, who lashed out at a system that kept them in penury. On screen, Amitabh fought his way against tremendous odds and off screen a mesmerised audience fought for a ticket to his movie.

And then there was melodrama. Manmohan Desai started the cult of brothers getting separated at the fair of families that destiny had torn apart and only the filmmakers' skill could join them for one big happy ending but for Amitabh it was another beginning when Manmohan Desai's Amar Akbar Anthony won him his first Best Actor Award in 1977.

With DON, Amitabh made it two best Actor Awards in a row.

It was under film directors Manmohan Desai and Prakash Mehra that Amitabh gave some of his biggest hits of this period.

Yash Chopra brought out the actor in him.

He was at his romantic best in Kabhi Kabhi and Silsila.

In Silsila, his alleged romance with Rekha set the screen on fire but the box office didn't approve.

Yash Chopra's Trishul and Kala Pathar again fell back on Amitabh's Angry Young Man persona and it still worked.

Hrishikesh Mukherjee was another director who realised his huge acting potential. Anand had only marked the beginning. Hrishikesh Mukherjee cast Amitabh in 10 of his films.

With his brilliant acting skills and his ability to deliver blockbusters after blockbuster, Bachchan was set for long haul..."

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/Amitabh+Bachchan%27s+journey+to+the+top/1/65773.html

Thanks. In our countries it is also very hard to enter e.g. psychology or medicine. If parental ambitions put the child in a position where he cannot really cope, the gap between the ideal self and the real self is too big and leads first to depression then to despair. If parents  support the child's self esteem and self control in a realistic way, a failure or mistake or unsuccessful achievement now and then does neither lead to complete loss of self-worth nor to despair. All kinds of persons not only engeneers and medical doctors are needed, the child may display a different talent. There is so much beauty coming from India.

That's a very good question and Becky Ryan is right in my mind...

Dear @Sundar, the experience of failure can be extremely motivating. It is very sad when You read facts about suicides of school children.Game-Based Assessment: Two Practical Justifications is fine research paper about. " GBA recognizes another social truth also hiding in plain sight: College is already a game.Play only becomes a game when we introduce rules, goals, and arbitrary obstacles –such as 120 credits to graduate or specific course requirements. One critical difference between the experience of higher education and playing other games is how each deals with failure. In academic culture a failing student is threatened with a lower grade and dismissal if it continues; a failing department is threatened with a hiring freeze or dissolution; a failing university is threatened with loss of its accreditation. Those harsh consequences all inspire the kind of fear of failing that promotes risk-averse decision-making or a desperate fear-informed quality of achievement. However, the experience of failure can be positively motivating; GBA uses many small failures as information goads that guide achievement...

 Academic failures lead to…summativeself-assessments, a generalized fear of failing, frustration/discouragement, lower intrinsic motivation and risk-averse decisions..."

http://aspiringminds.com/pages/assess/2014/camera_ready/paper/heinzen.pdf

Think about the causes if school children´s suicide! There is a blame from the adults like parents or teachers or pseudo society in some networks. The main reason are faults of the parents. They demand to much and forget that children are kids and no mature individuals. They need understanding and help and the right to be imperfect.