It's the first time I've experienced this - although I've been living in the same place for 40 years. Two neighbors are fighting - with words, but terrible threats. In this case,was the starting point quite trivial. One has dogs, the other says they bark too loudly and for too long. - But there are also completely different reasons for quarrelling among neighbors. What does that look like for you, and what can you do about it?
If I were at your place, I would have settled the matter between your neighbors since like you said, you have been living there for about 40 yrs. I abide by the following adage: "Love your Neighbors, As yourself!"
In my opinion, as neighbors, you have a right to intervene if there is any problem in your residential place. There is a special yet a very strong bond between neighbors, which is even better than your biologically related relatives who are there with you only in your good and happy times. A neighbor takes a strong stand always. :)
If things can be sorted amicably, then why to make everything a mess, right? :)
@Sahar Quazi
Dear Sahar Qazi, thank you for your hopeful advice. See that what I have written to Arben Salihu, at the moment I am a bit helpless, but I want to keep your words in my memory.
Kind regards, Hein Retter
Arben J Salihu
Dear Arben, thank you for your contribution. You are right, there is a difference beetween the spoken word and a violent action. But also words can destroy, at least they hurt. The mental injury does not heal, it continues to hurt. Thoughts that want revenge and satisfaction are then often not very far away.
Best, Hein
Conflict is human nature, from the fable of Cain and Abel to the growing US schisms between the Left and Right, neighbours will sometimes fight over almost anything – politics, sport, religion, often with no actual injury or just a perceived one, such as a tree shading a porch.
Conflict resolution often needs a middleman, who can be almost any impartial party, but should be offered with great care to avoid being caught up in an escalating situation, especially if alcohol or worse, drugs are involved.
Here in South Africa many people have access to firearms and so any situation can turn deadly very fast but even in ‘gun-free’ societies a deadly weapon can still appear very quickly.
As a retired police officer I am often tempted to intervene (especially as I live next to a boat club with over excited young drinkers) but I almost always restrain my self rather than trying to restrain the combatants as I realise the risks. An anonymous call to security or the police is better.
Dear Andrey
These are very good thoughts and important experiences. I can fully understand what you have learned in your professional experience. It is difficult to maintain this balance and to decide into a conflict that one is threatened to be drawn into, what should I do? Intervene? Restrain myself? Especially when you know that your own actions (intervention) of victim and perpetrator in an injustice situation interpret my actions completely differently. And I myself know that the causes of this conflict, as you describe it from South Africa, lie in overriding historical, structural and political causes that make the constant outbreak of such conflicts possible in the first place.
Thank you for your answer, Hein.
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