It is not actually soluble, it is water dispersible. You have already tried lot of methods. I would suggest you the following without mentioning any direct method.
1. Please use water based surfactants for the synthsis. Only this will help you to make water dispersible ZnO. e.g. CTAB, AOT, SDS, etc.
2. Try to cap the size of ZnO particle below 20 nm. If it is big, even use of the above surfactants will not help you. Your particles will be settle down at bottom.
3. You can use reverse micelles, water based colloidal reactions.
Will the morphology of the ZnO will change the solubility of the compound ? If yes then do the same rule is accepted by ZnO irrespective of size im talking sir....As you mentioned below 20nm, can the morphology be any ?