Just as in the human animal, and even more often than in the human animal, petting among the other mammals is primarily, although not exclusively, male activity which is directed toward the female. As in the human species, it is the male which is more likely to be aroused psychologically and usually before he makes any physical contact. (Alfred Kinsey)
"Why do we not think women can achieve their own orgasm with a lover?"
Sexual intercourse outside the family was, is and with all likelihood will always be a taboo. This partly explains why adultery is seen negatively in most societies. From my own experience as a psychologist, adultery is felt more negatively by husbands than wifes. This shows that we still live in a predominantly patriarchal and macho world.
António José Rodrigues Rebelo
Thanks for your prompt reply. It is likely that we don't share the same worldview.
Logic and common sense are fundamental to science. I provide explanations where others have nothing to say. I use logical reasoning where others use tiny samples involving 10 women to define the sexuality of millions of women worldwide. Sexology seems to be about politics rather than science. Of course, men don't agree with me. Men's objective - to obtain intercourse is directly opposed to women's objective - to avoid it if possible. The fact that men are much more confident to define women's sexuality for them is evidence of the battle that any woman has to present the female perspective. Men simply don't listen.
Adultery by women, wives and lovers, is widely practised, husbands and lovers just don't realise it is being practised on them. In the West where contact between potential lovers is easy, arrangements made at the opening of a laptop or mobile phone, it is increasing as are children by one man being foisted onto a more reliable partner. Guilt is being whittled away.
Most professional understandings of sexual activity are nonsense and Lucan's speculation appears to be true, that women are capable of multiple partners and it seems of multiple organisms. In fact, it may be that marriage has been used to control female sexuality as given the chance women will experiment and obtain multiple partners. It is the men who are limited.
Thanks Stanley but I think your views are based on erotic fiction and media portrayals rather than the research. Kinsey highlighted the fact that men engage in intercourse outside marriage much more frequently than women do. He also indicated that multiple orgasms are not true orgasms. I agree. Orgasm is a one-off sexual release for an adult. Marriage involves a woman expecting her husband to be sexually loyal to her, which necessarily means that she is obliged to offer him regular intercourse. Men still pay for this privilege - it's the usual trade sex for money as Kinsey highlighted over 70 years ago. But the idea that men are more responsive than women and want more intercourse than women seems to be hugely unpopular. Women want to reassure men of their enthusiasm so that they get the support they need.
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