Presumably one's intuition would inform one if a person was truly untrustworthy, otherwise trusting others facilitates authentic dialogue and deeper more meaningful relationships.

Stephen David Edwards thank you so much for your answer.

I particularly like that you mention intuition which, in my opinion, is absolute superpower.

Honesty is best policy & in every walks of life. With this If the said the community follows the said practice in the spirit ,we can offer excellence services to the community ,We known that well many honesty member of business community carry the said the principle in the spirit at the same all human being governed by our six guiding forces for our Honest, Working for which we have to to control our ACTION-ANGER-GREED ATTACHMENT ,JEALOUSY ,important areas of our EGO.

This is my personal opinion

Rohit Manilal Parikh many thanks for your valuable answer.

I agree with you: honesty is the best policy.

In fact, being honest to ourselves and to others dignifies us and sets an excellent ground for authenticity and real connection.

Everyone need trustworthy people in their lives. We can talk to then with comfort and without the fear of being taken advantage of or exposed. When we share our deepest fears, beliefs and emotions we have a sense of relief and they also act as a sounding board and give us advice and guidance which we may not be able to see when we are in the middle of a crisis.

There are so many predictors of trust e.g. emotionally stable, hopeful, time management, open communication, mind-set, intelligence, body language, needs and wants control, individual culture, being religious etc... However, it depends on the environment/continent e.g. In Africa, trust has a different definition, compared to other continents. Also, gender and age are key factors, which may control trust, either at the workplace, home and business community.

Marie B Josephine Philip thank you so much for your insight!

Your point is so very important... I love how you mention that a trusted friend can help us in midst of a crisis. Actually, when everything goes wrong around you, is when you can see who was really trustworthy.

Charles Kawalya many thanks for your valuable answer!

Please, could you tell us more in detail about the definition of trust in Africa?

I believe is would be very interesting and enriching to see a different perspective!

Thanks in advance!

Good morning,

Trust is one of the key factors in any and all relationships. Without trust we have nothing!

And if you trust someone, and they are not trustworthy, that plays on your mental psyche. That could also trigger some bad childhood traumas, which will leave the individual vulnerable in which case that could send the individual spiraling out of control.

Yolanda Tone Krajnovich thanks so much for contributing!

I feel that so many of us can relate to what you described in your answer.

I have always believed and operated on the ability to look someone in the eyes and not quickly look away when they return the short stare. It suggests nothing to hide and almost psychologically communicates - trust me. The other thing, I believe, is a confident hand shake, not a wimpy, lackluster hold. The firm, confident handshake tends to indicate a genuine desire to connect. CAUTION, do not place the other hand on top of the clasp. That tends to suggest dominance in the connection subtly.

Trudy Beerman thank you so much!

I completely understand your viewpoint. The behaviours you mention make much sense in certain societies.

My personal experiences do somewhat differ regarding how to understand these behaviours though...

People on the autism spectrum and/or social anxiety (just to name a few things) often avoid eye contact and do not offer you a steady handshake. One of the people in my life, whom I would blindly trust my life with, doesn't like to look into people's eyes.

The last point you mention is very culture-specific. In most parts of Central Asia it is the normal behaviour...a simple handshake would be seen as too cold and unfriendly.

Very good question! I think the most interesting in relationship to schizophrenia, person dellusion can lead to think that everyone is in conspiracy, but also in situation when one suffers PTSD and can not start to trust cause the trust was so abused, other way around in bipolar disorder where too much positivity disables learning pattern to do not trust and person even intelligent can trust to strangers.

Flora Komlosi-Ferdinand and Agata Zborowska, when mental health is already challenged, trust triggers would be different than those for a stable person who can have a mental health moment. So, those are not the same, and neither are the contexts. Your points on PTSD and schizophrenia are on point, and It sometimes takes alternative strategies when there is an abnormality to the standard norm. For example, visual learners will grasp something they see much faster (if at all) if they are asked to learn something only via auditory options. So, when someone has no diagnosed or known mental illness, they can still have a mental health moment, which a lack of trust can trigger. This is why we walk faster on an unknown dark street or clutch our purses in specific neighborhoods. At that time, we were in a mental health challenge (deep stress/ fear/anxiety), something that a change of scenery could fix. Building trust when someone has a mental illness will take time and consistent patience they rarely have the opportunity to experience. Even trained professionals do not hang around in their world long enough to develop the consistency of presence, even if there were aspects of that person the mentally ill would find trustworthy.

Agata Zborowska thank you so much!

You exactly got what I meant.

Trudy Beerman thank you very much for explaining your point more in detail.

I am impressed with the question and all of the discussion. Here is my contribution, which are quotes from our book, From Distrust to Trust (Bonner and Sturtevant, Judson Press, March 2023):

Chapter 2 Why Trust?

In this brief survey of the work of philosophers, social scientists, and brain scientists, we are laying the foundation for the importance of trust, especially the type of trust marked by these three elements of interpersonal relationality, risk, and vulnerability (22).

Three practical elements of trust are crucial to our understanding of the term: vulnerability, risk, and interpersonal relationality. Together these three ideas form the building blocks of trust (19).

If we are truly to trust another, there must be a risk of having that trust betrayed. … At the core of human trust lies a vulnerability in the face of risk and reward. When we trust, we choose vulnerability despite the risk (20).

Peaceful relationships with emotional awareness, kind empathy, graceful judgments, and astutely effective communication can transform conflicts into healthy interactions, which make for the trusting bonds of authentic relationships (68).

Chapter 5: Communication for Managing Conflict

Equality is an egalitarian concept that is easy to embrace but challenging to actuate. [optional - However, without accompanying behaviors of respect, affirmation, and inclusion, it is nothing more than hypocritical deception.] Equality without inclusion evades justice. Equality with inclusion embraces justice. (75)

Orthopathy is being humble enough to use our ability to empathize with the other (alterity) to motivate our compassions (love) and willingness to act in their best interest, rather than solely focusing on ourselves. [When we participate in orthopathy we are encountering the holy as we experience the divine in relationships]. (76)

All human interactions require communication. … And trust must be earned through time spent in communication and meaningful interactions together. Trust is earned with personal integrity—when words are matched with observed, experienced actions (134).

We can best understand the psychological processes by using Jonathon Haidt's Elephant and the Rider metaphor. (paraphrased from the book)

The ideal for emotional awareness, understanding, and expression is to use the two parts of our minds, the whole mind, simultaneously. That is the rational, logical mind (the rider) and emotional, intuitive mind (the elephant). By using our whole mind, we can be fully aware of the emotional truth of our relationship at that moment and respect each other to work together for the common good (135).

You may also be interested in some of my other writing on my blog @timothybonner9.medium.com

Hope this is helpful.

Tim Bonner, MS, MA, DMIN

Licensed Clinical Psychotherapist

Timothy J. Bonner thank you so, so much for your contribution. I just read your answer but I'll read it again and again tonight. You really give a very deep insight into how trust works. Your answer is like a short manual. I appreciate it very much. I'll certainly visit your blog and read your book as well!

Thank you Flora Komlosi-Ferdinand, I was hoping it was not too much like a lecture. The book is not out until next month, which is the publication release date given by the publisher. There is more in the book, including The Trust Building Model a circular model for developing trust with the four phases being: humility, hospitality, relationality, and intersectionality. The last two call for an explanation but suffice it to say that relationality is a deepening-friendship level of intimacy. Intersectionality is more complex and involves a holistic knowing the whole person, including vulnerabilities.

Also, this is all a learning process as I want to learn from you and other responders.

Timothy J. Bonner your previous answer was not too long at all. We all are here to learn and you have considerably enriched this discussion.

Morover, I really love that you offer principles, as opposed to rigid rules, that can be applied by all human beings regardless their culture, language or social/educational background. Thank you so much for this.

Congratulations on your book!

Reliability, commitment to honesty, disinclination towards the adoption of deceptive means to achieve goals, and fairness displayed in the treatment of others could be some key indicators to judge someone's trustworthiness. Trusting someone could have an overall positive effect on the mental state, as the confidant here becomes a positive space where one could unburden oneself of stressful thoughts. Flora Komlosi-Ferdinand

As human beings, core to our social relations is the quality of being trustworthy. Everybody yearns for a trustworthy friend, colleague, spouse, worker, leader and the list goes on and on. Trust is difficult to get but very easy to lose. Somebody who is trustworthy is dependable and has integrity. A child is trusts their parents to provide the universal human basis needs, love, affection, food, shelter, attention among others. When these are provided consistently, trust develops which provides some predictability and regularity. The child grows up to become a stable, secure and functional adult. When a child grows up with untrustworthy parents, they grow up cynical and insecure and are likely to develop various psychological disorders. In Psychotherapy, you realize that some of the issues being brought up by clients are rooted in early childhood psycho-emotional issues and only playing out in the current situation when the person is now an adult. Lack of trust for caregivers arising from various issues such as;abuse, neglect, insecure attachment styles, trauma et cetera are ominous and speaks volumes about the culmination of untrustworthy relationships. Such individuals are likely to have complicated relationship styles owing to their backgrounds.Trust fosters security and fidelity and individual overall psychological well-being is enhanced.

Mayur Sudhakar Sarfare thank you so much for your meaningful answer.

I really like the things you mention.

I'd love to ask a question... In your opinion, how do you recover someone's broken trust? Assuming you broke it because of fear?

Many thanks in advance!

Leslie Chiuswa thank you so, so much for your contribution!

Among all the useful things you mention, I loved that you write about how our childhood can affect our perceptions and behaviour towards trust.

Very valuable info.

Trustworthiness is a complex and multi-faceted concept; different people may have different opinions on what makes someone trustworthy. I think Building trust takes time and requires consistent behaviour; consistently following through on promises and commitment helps to build trust. Being honest and having moral principles can help establish a person as trustworthy. A person who is open and upfront about their intentions and action is seen as trusted. Trust builds over time through consistent positive behaviour and can be broken easily by hostile actions.

The base of trustworthiness is our family; if the base of trustworthiness is strong, it helps to build a building of trustworthiness in later life. If there is a lack, it is difficult for a person to trust others. A trustful family environment and trusting people can significantly impact mental health. Trust can play an impact role in our overall well-being and helps us to reduce stress and anxiety. Also, a trustworthy person makes us feel secure and supported, contributing to a positive outlook and improved mood.

Neetu Joon thanks so much for your answer. I really liked all you said and I feel that your first sentence is something I want to remind myself on a daily basis when forming new connections.

Thanks again!

Trustworthiness depends on people's behavior and attitudes toward others.

The facial expressions will tell a lot (about trustworthiness):

Look at the free-look inside picture 8 (bottom) and picture 13, in emotionally expressive ancient art at https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Expressions-Are-Universal-Ultimate-ebook/dp/B082S4D3K5/

and for even more details the second volume of

https://www.amazon.com/Expression-Emotions-Man-Animals-Expressive-ebook/dp/B0BQXHPTS2

that was announced in picture 2 of that book.

Hope that helps

(disclaimer: no Dr-patient relationship and no liability in answering the above question)

Peter Migaly many thanks, this is really interesting! I looked at the pictures and will definitely read the text over the weekend.

Your books look absolutely fascinating!

Genuine sympathy more than empathy. Witnessing and listening rather than imposing therapist/Dr. believe system and dogmatic theoretical framework. Most of all, relating to the other with care from a subjective perspective as a real human with resources and inner health and not as an object, a patient with a disease. Genuinely, seeing the person as they are in context and respect.

Elya Steinberg thank you so much!

Your answer was so genuinely kind and comforting...

I'm sure this approach not only earns trust but can even save lives.

Having trustworthy relationships is crucial to our emotional, psychological, and physical well-being and also spiritual well-being.

Prasanna Kamalsiri Perera thank you so much for your answer.

You are right, trust (or the lack of it) affects us in evey possible ways.

I think that what's important is to have a good balance between trust, mistrust and "cautious trust".

Yes, trust is important to emotional well-being, but having too much trust or blind trust in someone might lead to emotional hurt or harm.

It might be the case that sometimes "trust" is mixed in people's minds with unrealistic expectations from the other person.

While trust is a valuable skill, a certain dose of healthy suspicion is essential to navigating oneself in many social and societal situations.

I think that traumatic relationships are a huge factor in trust and mistrust. I am not sure if it is reflected in the literature, but I think that some people with developmental trauma might oscillate between too much trust and deep mistrust or might find it hard to know how to "modulate" or calibrate their trust in others according to different situations.

I really loved your answer Tamar Ben-Barak !

What you say about unrealistic expectations is so true... and it is sad that we often cannot live up to the same standards we expect from others.

Thank you very much for this different angle... I'm sure we all can relate to what you said.

Dear Flora Komlosi-Ferdinand ,

Thanks for your appreciation of my adding pints. Trustworthy, two parties satisfy each other in a proper manner with proven and recognized facts .

Trustworthy and Honesty is the only things that can cure and improve our mental life.

Nurjahan Begum thank you very much for your answer!

There is much truth in what you say.

Imo, authenticity (values, ideals, and actions align) is the key to maintain healthy relationships and mental health. In this sense, I am in line with Tamar Ben-Barak and your Flora Komlosi-Ferdinand response to apply realistic expectations of others and our self.

Stephen I. Ternyik thank you so much for your answer!

I completely agree with your point on authenticity. Without being authentic to yourself, it is impossible to form meaningful connection to others...and only then trust can fully flourish (at least in my view).

Thanks again!

A reliable person while speaking maintains eye contact, a firm posture, with a correct interpersonal distance, gesticulates while emitting his message, is sure of himself and what he says. It is easy to determine if a person is lying, because he avoids eye contact, may not pronounce correctly and emits confusing messages.

Trusting someone who affects your mental health is complicated because all of their responses, behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, etc. Are going to affect you to a greater or lesser extent.

Marina Chavero thanks so much!

I do appreciate your viewpoint and would like to add that, the behaviours you describe are very country/culture specific. While in most western cultures these rules are valid, the same attitude may not inspire trust in some Asian and African cultures.

Nevertheless, your description fits well the expected Western European standard.

Many thanks!

Pienso que el papel de mostrarse confiable ante las personas con las que tenemos que intervenir en nuestra profesión es crucial porque, en caso de que el usuario/a haya manifestado una etapa de desesperanza o donde sentía que no existían soluciones a sus problemas, muchas veces somos el punto de inflexión que necesitan para poder seguir adelante, a desarrollar de nuevo capacidades que daban por perdidas y habilidades necesarias para la integración en el entorno de este/a.

No obstante, debemos como profesionales saber que cuando las personas confían en nosotros, asumimos una gran responsabilidad en la que cometer errores puede hacer perder toda aquella confianza que habíamos generado entre profesional y usuario/a. Por ello es importante establecer límites y saber hasta dónde podemos llegar, para no crear falsas expectativas o probabilidades de cosas que no podemos cumplir.

ما الذي يجعل الشخص جديرا بالثقة؟ كيف تؤثر الثقة بشخص ما على صحتك العقلية

.بداية أشكركم على مشاركتي في محاولة الإجابة على هذا السؤال

اعتقد أن الأمر من جهة يتوقف على مدى توافق السلوك المتوقع من الشخص مع سلوكه بالفعل في المواقف المختلفة، ومن جهة أخرى مدى تكرار ذلك السلوك وما يصاحبه من تعزيز

Being trustworthy should be seen as a temporary state. It is not a permanent characteristic. Some people trust until they find a reason not to (I do not recommend this). Some will not trust until a significant experience or due diligence gives them the freedom to (my recommendation). However, trust can be transferred for a more instant credit of trustworthiness. This is often seen when a guest is invited to an already trusted podcast, TV show, or stage. If someone trusts me as a TV Host, and I introduce my guest as someone I know, like, and trust - my audience tends to ascribe instant trustworthiness to that person. It is called the Halo of Trust, which is why the 'As Seen on TV' brand is so powerful. https://youtube.com/shorts/doBNbTPD5ss?si=1UvLvUey_TlKeZm1

Ismail Dhow ,

أنا آسف حقًا على إجابتي المتأخرة، لكني كنت مسافرًا. إسماعيل، شكرا جزيلا على مشاركتك. أقدر ذلك كثيرا جدا!

Trudy Beerman many thanks for your answer. You are so correct about being careful whom we trust.

So true, and trust is temporary because people change and may become distrustful - like a family member who starts using drugs and then steals to support the habit. Trusting someone now does not mean trust is permanent.

People make trust on their Sincere and honesty no matter what type of person he/ she is? But once the trust was not there in life it will have negative impact. That makes you mentally ill if the emotion cannot control or if you are not balance in life. So, we need balance in life.

Human control earth because they are the cruelest animal on earth Not because the kind and trustworthy. to become trustworthy is a personal choice when a person is willing to do the hard work of introspection and self reflection and choose empathy and compassion. A choice to do no evil. the question is not if one can become trustworthy to others but can they become trustworthy to another and chose the evolution of empathy. If one perceives it in another or not - is another question - can we see things as they are ?

Nurjahan Begum I agree with you very much! If you can't trust other people it can amke you ill. Trusting others is a basic human need. Thank you so much for your answer.

Elya Steinberg , you are spot on...I think the keyword is 'choice' here. Many thanks for your contribution.