Irony in the Eoin Colfer’s Artemis Fowl books:

Beginning in 2002, Eoin Colfer’s Artemis Fowl books have been competing with J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter books for the # 1 ranking in the New York Times best seller list for young readers. Both of these series are Gothic fantasies involving young teenagers as their protagonists and as their audiences.

Colfer’s “Mud People” are the same as Rowling’s “Muggles.” They’re the human beings and they include: Jerbal Argon, Briar Cudgeon, Carla Frazetti, Loafers McGuire, John Spiro, and of course, Juliet and Domovoy Butler, and Artemis Fowl Junior and Senior.

“Fairy” is the term that Colfer uses for all of the people who live underground: the centaurs, demons, dwarfs, elves, fairies, gargoyles, gnomes, goblins, gremlins, imps, leprechauns, pixies, sprites, trolls, and warlocks. The good fairies (including the centaurs, but excluding the goblins, trolls and one Pixie [Opal Koboi]) are also called “The People.” There are also quaggas and krakens in Colfer’s fantasy world.Fairies like to do “time stops,” and use “bio-bombs.” In contrast there are the Mud People, one of whom is Artemis Fowl (a little person) and Butler (a big person).

In Colfer’s Artemis Fowl books, the only fairies that are not “Little People” are the centaurs. Like other centaurs, Colfer’s centaurs are human in front and equine in back. In The Time Paradox, there is mention of a human movie about Centaurs that considers them to be “noble and sporty.” Male centaurs are “expected to take more than one bride” (24-25).

Colfer’s dwarves are small, compact and earthy. “Dwarf males can unhinge their jaws, allowing them to ingest several pounds of earth a second. This material is processed by a superefficient metabolism, stripped of any useful minerals…and ejected at the other end” (Artemis Fowl 228). Chapter 6 of The Lost Colony is entitled, “Dwarf walks into a bar” (131).

Most of the LEPrecon unit are elves like Corporal Lily Frond, Corporal Grub Kelp, Captain Trouble Kelp, Commander Julius Root, Captain Holly Short, Captain Chix Verbil and Marshal Vishby. Colfer’s elves can fly, and they can heal people with their blue sparks.

“Qwan, who was the planet’s most experienced time-traveling fairy, wrote in his best-selling autobiography, Qwan: My Time Is Now, that, ‘riding the time stream is like flying through a dwarf’s intestine. There are very nice free-flowing stretches, but then you turn a corner to find the thing backed up and putrid’” (The Time Paradox 97). Qwan had started out as an Imp, but he warped into a Warlock and was enchanted into a Gargoyle.

Colfer’s gnomes dedicated their lives to pizza. “Every year on the anniversary of Bog’s first day of business, they chartered a shuttle and took a picnic aboveground.” “The picnic consisted of pizza, tuber beer and pizza-flavored ice cream.” These parties took place at Stonehenge, in Wiltshire. It was at the end of an LEP chute. “A gnome called Bog had realized how many tourists forgot their sandwiches on aboveground jaunts, and so had set up shop beside the terminal” (The Eternity Code 53).

Goblins are described as “Evolution’s little joke. Pick the dumbest creatures on the planet and give them the ability to conjure fire” (The Eternity Code 28). The LEP (Lower Elements Police) are worried about the Goblins’ uprising instigated by the B’wa Kell triad. They are trying to make the Haven insecure. “If even one renegade fairy got himself captured by the Mud Men, then Haven would cease to be a haven” (The Eternity Code 25).

Colfer’s krakens are huge. “The giant sea monster that is the kraken sent its finned tentacles spiraling toward the ocean’s surface, pulling its bloated body behind. Its single eye rolled manically in its socket, and its curved beak, the size of a schooner’s prow, was open wide, filtering the rushing water through to its ripplilng gills. The kraken was hungry, and there was room for only one thought in its tiny brain as it sped toward the holiday ferry above. Kill…Kill…KILL…” (The Time Paradox 23).

In the underworld, it is the LEPrecon unit that must police the underworld and keep things going smoothly. LEP is an acronym for “Lower Element Police.” The “recon” part of the name alludes to “reconaissance.” According to Colfer, “The word ‘leprechaun’ actually originated from LEPrecon” (Artemis Fowl 43).

Colfer’s Pixies are small and they have pointed ears. Doodah Day was something of a legend as a fish smuggler. But when he was caught by Holly Short, and entombed in Dwarf spittle, Vinaya said, “Yes. That’s Doodah Day. The fish smuggler. Quite a catch.” But then she continued the fish metaphor, “You’re going to have to cut him loose, Holly. We have bigger snails to pop” (The Lost Colony 35).

Colfer’s sprites have the gift of tongues, and they also have a strong aversion to light. They have clawlike mottled green hands. They have slitted golden eyes and long hooked noses. Their ears are pointed, and some of them are addicted to alcohol. Sprites only had limited healing power. They could magic away a wart, but gaping wounds were beyond them” (The Arctic Incident 28).

Colfer’s bull trolls have crimson pupils and retractable claws. They have a powerful sense of smell. They have curved tusks with serrated edges. “Trolls were the meanest of the deep-tunnel creatures. They wandered the labyrinth, preying on anything unlucky enough to cross their path. Their tiny brains had no room for rules or restraint” (Artemis Fowl 54). According to Holly Short, “Trolls occasionally eat their mothers” (The Time Paradox 47).

Colfer’s warlocks like to form a pentagram around their target. They then spread an enchanted enclosure over it, and stop time. This works fine until the warlocks have to use the bathroom. Many sieges were lost because a warlock had had one extra glass of wine.

• Artemis Fowl (a.k.a. Constantin Bashkir, Colonel Xavier Lee, Dr. C. Nile Dementia, & Malachy Pasteur) possibly possesses the greatest human intellect of his generation. In the first book, Artemis Fowl is twelve years old. In the other books, he is a young teenager. Therefore, in a sense, Artemis Fowl is one of the little people. Whenever Artemis tells his name, the response is always, “Isn’t that a girl’s name”? Whenever Artemis tells his name, the response is always, “Isn’t that a girl’s name”? Artemis always replies that the name is both a girl’s name and a boy’s name. The name is derived from Artemis the hunter in Greek mythology. The Fowl family motto is “Aurum potestas est” (Gold is power). Chapter 4 of The Arctic Incident is entitled, “Fair is Fowl” (87). Artemis always replies that the name is both a girl’s name and a boy’s name. The name is derived from Artemis the hunter in Greek mythology. The Fowl family motto is “Aurum potestas est” (Gold is power). Chapter 4 of The Arctic Incident is entitled, “Fair is Fowl” (87).