You ask the following: What is the best way to raise children?
This is a difficult-to-answer question. As you know there is an African proverb that states that an entire village is necessary to raise a child.
As I see it, there are several ways to raise a child. For example, Martin Hoffman conceptualized three types of socializing and raising a child: Power assertion; withdrawl of love and explanatory practices. Power assertion is the case when parents or teachers make use of their power over certain resources to deal, for example, with their childrens'/students' misdeeds (e.g., "Bob, if you hit your sister/schoolmate, then you won't have toys anymore"). Withdrawl of love is the case when parents/teachers make use of a kind of blackmail to raise their children/students (e.g., "Bob, if you hit your sister/schoolmate, then Mom does not like you anymore"). Explanatory or inductive practices are the case when parents/teachers deal, for example, with their children's students' misdeeds by explaining to them the negative consequences of their misdeeds on others' well-being ("Bob, if you hit your sister/schoolmate, she will be hurt and sad").There is accumulated evidence that shows that power assertion and withdrawal of love tend to lead to a morality based on the ideas of fear, constraint, and unilateral respect, a heteronomous morality, and that inductive practices tends to lead to a morality guided by the ideas of equality, cooperation and mutual respect, an autonomous morality.
Diane Baumrind conceptualized three types of parenting/teaching : Authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. Authoritative parenting/teaching is the case when parents/teachers are demanding in intellectual terms, but warm in their social interaction witht their children/students. Authoritatian parenting/teaching is the case when parents/teachers are demanding in intellectual terms, but cold intheir social interaction witht their children/students. Permissive parenting/teaching is the case when parents/teachers are guided, say, by the French slogan "laissez faire, laissez passer, laissez aller" (Let it goes).There is ammasing evidence that shows that, in contrast to authoritarian and permissive figures, authoritative figures forster the child's psychological dvelopment, be it cognitive, social, prosocial, moral, and emotional development.
As I see it, parents and teachers should not commit what I call the fundamental education error, that is, to reprehend and even punish children for their misdeeds and pay no attention, say, to their good performance.
As I developmental psychologist, I think that there is now a pernicious tendency, namely in rich families, for them do not take into account what I call the sense of contingency. For example, parents and teachers hinder the acquaintance of a sense of contingency on the part of the child when, for example, in their parenting/teaching do not convey the idea that the child only achieves a given outcome (e.g., a good exam mark) after doing something, for example, to pay attention to what teachers teaches.
In my opinion, the best way to raise children is for the parents & the primary school teachers to set fine examples for them to follow. The children will become honest, kind, polite, active … all the desired good attributes if they see living examples of these qualities in front of them.
Troublesome children can be treated by reward & "soft" punishment. Some hyperactive children were treated successfully by changing the food & drinks that they intake. For example, by eating banana "which provides potassium" & drinking anise "which cools down the nervous mood " instead of caffeinated drinks .
Think that your kids are there, not to be what you want them to be, but rather to be what they want to be. Do not treat your kids as adults in miniature for they have their own way of acting, thinking and feeling. Your kids are are not something that belong to you. They are, say, autonomous criatures and should be respected as an end in themselves, not a means to an end. The more you respect your children, the more they are likely to respect their children when they become parents.