Below, you’ll find general tips for dealing with jealousy, along with specific suggestions for jealousy in romantic relationships.
Tips for Romantic Relationships
- Assess your relationship.
“If you are in an insecure relationship, expect to have your jealousy buttons pushed. But no one can tell you what to do. If you stay, most likely you’ll feel bad and jealous sometimes.”
- Assess yourself.
Morelli suggested asking yourself these questions:
“Do you have a pervasive feeling of emptiness or lack of self-worth?
How was your relationship with your early caregivers?
Was the atmosphere in your home warm and loving sometimes, but also critical?
Were you raised in a repressive atmosphere?
Were your early caregivers unreliable?”
- Seek out other support.
Have interests outside your relationship, Morelli said. Talk to a friend about your jealous feelings, “but don’t do this to the exclusion of talking to your partner.”
- General Tips
Recognize your jealousy.
“When we name the jealousy, it loses its power, because we are no longer letting it shame us,” Hibbert said. Acknowledging that you’re jealous opens the door to learning, she said.
- Learn from your jealousy.
We can use feelings of jealousy as inspiration to grow, said Hibbert, also author of the book This is How We Grow. For instance, you realize that the reason you get jealous every time your friend plays her guitar is because that’s also something you’d like to do. Rather than wallowing in that jealousy, you sign up for guitar lessons, she said.
- Let it go.
Tell yourself that you don’t need this emotion in your life, and you’re relinquishing it, Hibbert said. Then “breathe deeply, and imagine it flowing through you like the wind. Repeat as often as it takes to truly let it go.”
- Manage your emotions healthfully.
“Practice mindfulness to calm your runaway emotions,” Morelli said. For instance, she suggested readers tune into your body to identify how you’re feeling, take several deep breaths and try to detach from the intensity of those emotions.
If your jealousy involves your romantic relationship, share your feelings with your partner after you calm down, she said.
To process your emotions, she also suggested journaling, dancing to your favorite music and taking a walk.
- Remind yourself of your positive traits.
Hibbert gave this example: “She is really good at playing with her kids, and I’m not so good. But I’m great at reading to them, and they love that about me.” This reminds us that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, she said.
Again, jealousy is a normal reaction. It becomes problematic when it becomes persistent. When you find yourself feeling jealous, recognize what’s happening and delve deeper into your relationships and yourself.
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/03/04/8-healthy-ways-to-deal-with-jealousy/
We should work hard and improve professionalism. It is natural, take it positive or negative
Think we just need to do the right thing with the right mind as we can't control others' jealousy or what they say.
I believe that there must be an atmosphere of caring and generous sharing. Who will be unreasonable to be jealous of the generous, hardworking and humble person, who is always thanking and acknowledging the EFFORTS OF OTHERS? Should we not show this on RG interactions? Thanks.
Jealousy is a natural emotion, but it can be painful and difficult to control. We look at practical ways to handle the "green-eyed monster".
A small amount of jealousy can be good. For example, if it's mild and well managed it can help a couple to appreciate each other and add to the passion of a relationship. But extreme jealousy can destroy relationships and damage your health.
Here are seven quick tips for dealing with jealous co-workers:
1. Never tell them they're "just jealous." -- ignore it.
2. Do some damage control. -- stretch positive hand.
3. Find an ally if you can. -- take help.
4. Think about things from a jealous co-worker's perspective. -- rationalize it.
5. Have a sense of humor. -- if possible, convert it into humor.
6. Document it. -- if situation warrant.
7. Always remember that you're a good person. -- think positively.
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/emotionalhealth/Pages/Overcomingjealousy.aspx
http://workplacediva.blogspot.in/2014/05/seven-tips-for-dealing-with-jealous-co.html
Not only is the feeling of jealousy not conducive for relationship building and effective communication, but it just doesn’t us feel very good. In relationships, this emotion is so pervasive and instantaneous that people fail to take time, step back and evaluate it. It breaks communication, compassion and damages relationships.
The following are methods to help reduce and eliminate this negative thought pattern:
1. Fully Experience the Feeling
By telling yourself not to feel jealous, you will never be able to get out of it. “What we resist persists”. “you can move beyond the ego’s perspective and see reality from the perspective of a higher consciousness.:”
2. Love Yourself
Look within, spend time with yourself, get to know the real you.
3. Stop Comparing.
“Comparison is the seed and jealousy is the fruit!”.
4. Find What’s Threatening You?
5. Write It Out
It gives you an opportunity to express yourself, but also lays your options out clearly on paper
6. Be Realistic- Ask yourself,
7. Find Your Strength-“ Focus on your strengths and unique qualities. “
8. Shift Your Focus –“ We are so focused on the negative feeling that we lose the big picture. “
9. “Is this what we want for ourselves?”. “What we sew is what we reap”.
“I am convinced that the jealous, the angry, the bitter and the egotistical are the first to race to the top of mountains. A confident person enjoys the journey, the people they meet along the way and sees life not as a competition. (Shannon L. Alder).
Those who see life as a competition often miss the best qualities in others. Human traits such as Jealousy, envy, and ego can be a reflection of the inner self of the individual and unresolved issues and perspectives. If an individual is unable to reflect on their needs and issues and openly acknowledge and work constructively on these resolving and seeking the support and assistance of others such as colleagues, family and trusted others they are missing the opportunities of personal growth and self esteem. Professionalism is an important ingredient in developing and maintaining positive workplace relationships with colleagues, agencies and in maintaining ethical and moral standing. In workplaces where there is a lack of professional respect and adherence to a set of basic values and attitudes and where these values are not acknowledged and practised there can be an erosion in respect for others and issues such as bullying and discrimination. In addition emotional intelligence, the ability of individuals to recognize their own and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior. (Coleman, Andrew (2008). A Dictionary of Psychology (3 ed.)) Oxford University Press.
To a good extent it is part of one's attitude and personality type. They do not change much, but nevertheless one can make efforts for a positive change. I think one needs to learn to develop emotional intelligence for that to happen. Also, learn to minimize one's ego by reading books and devising a specific agenda to that effect. Meditation also helps. Also, if we are kind and humble to others who are jealous, i think it helps.
Calling it "jealousy" is way too soft. Let's talk about "envy", not about the "discipline envy"—or "academic envy"— proposed by Marjorie Garber in her famous book on the subject titled Academic Instincs (Princeton U Press, 2001). According to Garber, "discipline envy" is a good thing because it goes back to an earlier idea of envy, that of "emulation". In fact, most treatises on envy point to the fact that envy is something like hating the way you admire someone, what I would call "rancorous admiration". The issue is that universities are rife with plain stupid envy. Colleagues do not want to emulate the good ones, but rater have them killed so that they need not strive to be better faculty members. Lazy academicians hate work and hate hard workers, and want them out. That is not jealousy.
While there are many good and valid points here, it does come down to individual psyche. It is a human condition that some have more of than others. Some people will never be satisfied, no matter how good or brilliant they are. And while mentoring can alleviate some animosity in the workplace, academic or corporate, there will always be individuals who feel left out, unfairly treated, inadequate, or envious. This has led to many problems, including sabotaging other's work, stealing or taking credit for other's work, rumors, outright conflict, etc. While they might not want to hear it, many universities in the U.S. foster this atmosphere as graduate students compete for professorial attention, hoping to get handed the best research opportunities or co-authorship with one of their professors, while other steal dissertation ideas or create problems for their fellow graduates. I don't know how many times I have heard complaints about the acidic atmosphere is graduate studies. So, no, professional jealousy will always be a human trait that stands in the background waiting to emerge.
A jealous person will consume himself/herself in jealousy and not rise above pettiness. I think one approach is to just let them be. Ignoring their deeds is one way of not giving them the attention they seek. jealousy and envy erodes creativity and objectivity.
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
Robert A Heinlein
Jasna. Agree totally, but when that jealousy leads to a coworker stealing your ideas and making them their own, then that is something that is hard tolerate and even harder to ignore. I recently advised one person to mail or email himself his ideas, research plans, etc. so that he could prove those originated with him, not his coworker, in case they were stolen.
Probably here is not the answer to this question.
Certain small measure of jealousy can encourage one to make greater efforts. High degree of jealousy paralyzes man - and in the worst case lead to bad behavior. It is a disease that is difficult to treat.
I agree with you Kouser but I still think we need to be ourselves and not pretending to be someone else
By sharing and involving the other having team work and team spirit
Jealousy remains a part of human nature but certain human beings by his very temperament remain fully conscious regarding the negative elements of which we all are born .
Such human beings know the value & basic end of their life .Whether one believes or not we all have come out on this earth by bringing the resulting fruits -positive /negative of our previous lives & such trend is also playing the part .
With this it has been observed that the black cloud of Jealousy generally has been observed in corporate ,& company s; organization .W e are touched jealousy in company organization as in other professional areas just as Legal ,Medical ,are performance ,business traders ,& such other groups ,Jealousy although as a light in said areas but in this do not reflect the direct individual professional person.
In case of company groups unfortunately this affect the direct person & sometimes the jealousy involvement make the damage to the person concern .
In such case we know that our face is a mirror & if we have developed ourselves both within & outside with our psychic training ,observation both from the within & outside such jealous person of his involvement will not in any way reflect the person concern who has with him the faith & inner will power .
This is personal opinion
Professional Jealousy becomes the dominant feature in a professional setting when the jealous member is focused more on others than oneself!
Professional Jealousy spoils professional relationships and the setting and its objectivity altogether.
Competitiveness is a positive thing. Achievement in a professional setting is by two means.
1. By ones' own professional achievements
2. By downgrading or spoiling others' achievements(or preventing others from achieving).
The first one is evidently and practically the easiest and most appropriate way, But SADLY, many tend to follow the latter.
It is a menace and is like Cancer, because it not only spoils the persons involved, at the same time malignantly affects the institution or the system itself
Coming to the "how to curb down" part:
- Human beings are unique, so are their thinking and psyche
- Making people understand the value of honesty and hardwork would be a pre-requisite in minimizing professional jealousy.
- all professionals should be on consensus that "the easiest and most practical way of obtaining professional achievements or to get ahead" is by ones' own achievement.
HAVE BELIEF IN ONESELF!
regards
Rathish
A very important dimension Prof .... while a lot of it is to do with one's own weakness of expression of their inabilities in format that is unprofessional and beyond ethics, there is still scope to circumvent such a behavior by promoting examples where focus and demeanor bears incentives and social respect
One of the main reasons why people feel jealousy, is that they compare themselves to other people and what they have. We are all completely unique individuals, and once you fully understand this concept, you will realize that comparison among each other is useless. We all have things that others don’t have and vice versa. The combination of what we have and what we do not have is unique. Now, you can aspire to have something or have a certain characteristic like someone else. That is usually a positive feeling, which triggers motion and improvement. Jealousy triggers paralysis, and that is the difference. You cannot be someone else, you are “you”, so focus on being the best “you” that you can possibly be!
http://www.ineedmotivation.com/blog/2008/07/how-to-control-your-jealousy/
thanks Kundu. i was a phd degree holder in 1978 while all my seniors were graduates and diploma holders; they wrote my confidential reports and i suffered hell; i had a big family to support and kept quite. Now situation is improved slightly.
A girl should not be beautiful and a man should not be brilliant --i tell all
Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy - in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other. ~ Robert A. Heinlein
Healthy competition will curb Jealousy. Acceptance of reality also will help.
Jealousy – a Cancerous Disease
If a person discovered they had cancer, most people would do everything they could to get rid of this terrible disease. Jealousy is compared to such a serious illness: “Jealousy is like bone cancer.” [NCMM] Most people are not willing to admit they are jealous of others, for that would be an attack on their own weakness. However, jealousy is a disease of the emotions that infects most people.
http://www.nazarene-friends.org/articles/Jealousy%20-%20a%20Cancerous%20Disease.php
DEAR Venkathari all are not angels.we live with flesh and blood.
Jealousy is a driving force for the persons,who are used to walk over other heads.When they meet a bright person,they try to do all that they can to humiliate the "white elephant" behind his back.As a rule,jealous persons were brought up in the families where the main principle was "all is sold and all is bought".They had a low self-esteem in their childhood.Being adult,they become to masters of intrigue and provocations.Jealous people are very dangerous for talented personalities.But in real life just they achieve success in career.
sorry Irina, jealousy will not help a man to achieve greatness.be normal and try to identify your weaknesses and improve them
all mothers are angels as you say;but not all kids.
“I am convinced that the jealous, the angry, the bitter and the egotistical are the first to race to the top of mountains. A confident person enjoys the journey, the people they meet along the way and sees life not as a competition. They reach the summit last because they know God isn’t at the top waiting for them. He is down below helping his followers to understand that the view is glorious where ever you stand.”Shannon L.Alder
Healthy competition without comparisons may curb down professional jealousy. Comparison (especially of people) is repulsive. Jealousy and envy are all about comparisons that adding up the differences among persons. Competition, on the other hand, can be helpful, as long as not taken too seriously and personally.
WE SAY " ONE TALK OF HEAD ACHE AS LONG AS ONE DOES NOT SUFFER FROM THAT"
People may agree or disagree with my opinion. For handling peers' jealousy I consider PM Narendra Modi as one to emulate. More he is being jealous-ed least he bother of it.... and use it as propellant to go ahead. He just dont care a pin to those who comments on him.
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
"Seven Tips For Dealing With A Jealous Co-worker
..... Here are seven quick tips for dealing with jealous coworkers:
1. Never tell them they're "just jealous."
2. Do some damage control.
3. Find an ally if you can.
4. Think about things from a jealous co-worker's perspective.
5. Have a sense of humor.
6. Document it.
7. Always remember that you're a good person."....
Please, see the attached link for more information ....
http://workplacediva.blogspot.com/2014/05/seven-tips-for-dealing-with-jealous-co.html
Competitions in the corrupt society can't be healthy.To A.Bubnov(a famous football expert),""Can there be uncorruptible football in the corrupt society?...There are professionals-rascals,too.It will be nothing,until honest people,who can't be thievs,come".
http://www.sovsport.ru/blogs/blog/bmessage-item/39984
In this platform , like everyone else , many followers had downvotes !
Downvote is a type of jealousy?
Jealousy is a terrible sin,it's an incurable,chronic disease.You can't fight with this sly evil."Invidia" by J.Bosch,P.Bruegel the Elder,B.Peruzzi "Jealousy is expelled by Muses"
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/21/Jheronimus_Bosch_Table_of_the_Mortal_Sins_%28Invidia%292.jpg
http://psy.1september.ru/article.php?ID=200101706
http://www.gnozis.info/?q=node/2792
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
"Jealousy is the fear of comparison."
------ Max Frisch
dear Hazim well said- jealousy arises out of inferiority complex.
" No body make you feel small with out your permission"- have confidence in you
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
"How to Overcome Jealousy in the Workplace
by Grace Ferguson, Demand Media
...... Management Techniques
Management can help to eliminate or reduce jealousy by promoting open communication in the workplace. Mangers must treat all employees fairly instead of showing favoritism. Assessing the emotional maturity of applicants during the hiring process can help to weed out potentially disruptive candidates. During the interview, the employee might be asked behavior-based questions, such as "Can you explain a time when you had to overcome adversity in the workplace?" Certain employers require candidates to take a psychological test on paper or a computer. Another way to minimize jealousy is to put high performers in mentor roles, which make them targets of admiration rather than envy. Furthermore, establishing a supportive incentive system informs workers that their dedication won’t go unrewarded.".....
Please, see the link for detail
http://work.chron.com/overcome-jealousy-workplace-4060.html
Dear Colleagues,
Good Day,
"JEALOUSY EATS AWAY AT A PERSON IN THE SAME WAY AS A MOTH EATS AWAY AT A PIECE OF CLOTH."
------ Shantikunj, Haridwar
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. - Robert A Heinlein
I have protected myself with international intellectual property laws.
Article Is Your Idea Safe?
New researchers are vulnerable to vested interests' political power. So innovative papers could be unfairly rejected by the vested interests' cartel. Even the new researchers' ideas could be stealed by the vested interests.
And then please remember "Perseverance. Resilience. Tolerance for ambiguity," and just keep going.
Reference: Sternberg RJ. Psychology 101 1/2: The unspoken rules for success in academia. 2nd ed. (Lesson 21: Learn to Tolerate Ambiguity). Washington, DC, U.S.A.: American Psychological Association, 2016.
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