some people hate you without any reason ,just because your success,and they try to hurting you by any way even used the devil
i don't know how can i dealing with them ?
I recommend the answer from Sanatombi Devi Yumkham ..... (Let people do whatever they want, please dont lend your ears for them).
Yes, in the lives of each of us some person may not love us or hate us even if we do not do anything to them, but only because of their jealousy and envy of success.
Dear Dr. Duraid K. Al Tary let them and continued your life and success.
Dear Duraid K. Al-Taey,
It is quite normal for people to hate you when you are progressing or when you are a big star, It is even in the bible. People of great destiny are hated for no reason. Look at the story of David, Sampson, Joseph even Jesus Christ of Nazareth was hated by all and the devil himself.
Regards,
Modestus
It's only God that can save one from this kind of people.
Like I earlier wrote, it is quite normal that people will dislike you no matter how wonderful you are. The reasons why someone does not like you may be incorrect, unfair or unjust. But it is very normal and it shows you are making progress and existing in this life.
The three step plan to deal with this challenge are stated below and can be found at: http://www.streetdirectory.com
1. Penetrate The Peer Group
Find the peer group of the person who dislikes you and seek to make friends with people in this group. Build a positive reputation with these people one at a time and your public image will shift in the eyes of the person who you are having trouble with.
This is like doing your own P.R. campaign directly to the people who have the most influence over the opinions of the person who dislikes you. Peer group pressure is a powerful way to change the perceptions of a group member.
2. Find Reasons To Like The Person
When someone clearly dislikes you what usually happens next? You start to actively dislike that person in return!
It becomes a feeding frenzy that can spiral out of control very quickly. The other person sees your negative reaction to them and responds accordingly. You feel and see how much disdain they have for you and you respond with more hate. Like a game of tennis the negative feelings bounce back and forth.
You can break this cycle. How? By deciding to find ways to like the person. Here are two ways to get started:
a. Make a quick list of things you like or could like about this person.
Be creative. The more reasons the better.
b. List the ways the person is like you.
This may be an eye opener because we often have very strong reactions to people who display characteristics we dislike about ourselves.
The more reasons you come up with the easier it will be for you to feel positive towards the other person. This change in your non verbal communication will be noticeable and will help ease some of the tension in the air.
This is often when the dynamics of the relationship can shift unexpectedly for the better. Deciding to like the other person regardless of how they are behaving is the first step to making this happen.
At the very least you will feel better. And when you feel better it is a lot easier to find solutions to deal with these tricky situations.
3. Take Baby Steps Towards Greater Rapport
With someone who dislikes you the same rules of rapport still apply only you need to have more patience.
Aim to make slight gradual progress with the person in question and over time you can shift the relationship from negative to neutral and maybe even to positive.
And be kind to yourself if the whole situation still upsets you. It is perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable when someone dislikes you. However it is foolish to roll over and play dead.
Take charge of your communication with this person and aim to improve the situation. The little progress you make will boost your confidence and help you communicate even better with everyone else you ever meet.
You can get more info. online via the link provided.
Regards,
Modestus.
Dear Dr. Duraid K. Al-Taey
There are people hate you for some reason and there are people hate you for no reason. Just because they want to hate….Here is the answer, it’s their problem, not yours. You can’t please all. I have no desire to please or impress the ones that dislike me. Too headache and stressful. If they don’t like me, I would be okay, I won’t gain anything but won’t lose anything either. But I know for sure, I won’t waste my dang time dealing with them. Best is to ignore the ones that hate you and give attention to the ones that like you. Don’t even trying to argue with morons, I guarantee you’ll lose for sure, it doesn’t matter if you win over an argument. You’ll have something to lose. Calm yourself and get back to life.
Redards
The question is justified but nobody hopes that he is concerned as victim or member of that group were such negative relations grows. If you have the impression, also as onlooker, that such things as humiliating or social exclusion happen in your near social environment it would be bad to ignore this. You should say your impression directly to this person - making clear that toleration of inacceptable behavior has limits. Normally all researchers in an institute are interested in a good atmosphere of co-operation. But we know also that in some cases co-working is difficult if persons are too much different. If this is agreed upon by all parties - we wouldn't have trouble - then it is important to discuss a simple order which all should respect. Mostly co-working happens i limited time space. We know: Good will is not to be replaceable.
Sometimes when you become successful, hordes of friends, family, and peers begin to not only rationalize their own failure, but try to take away your success. “You had all these resources I didn’t…” they say. But what they’re really doing is telling THEMSELVES a story to feel better so can easy to make any thing to stop success and hate you.
http://milkthepigeon.com/2015/04/10/why-people-will-hate-you-for-being-successful/
It is because of other person jealous and egoistic nature sir.. Ultimately they are the sufferers.. As of there is growing Academic career and successful life, all these things will not bother us much..
regards..
- Some people are naturally “likeable” or “dislikeable”. A lot of factors can make this happen, for example size, shape, background, etc. “Dislikeable” people are normally different or just bad people.
- Sometimes people can have certain features that remind you of a terrible memory or a phobia you have. This can unconciously make you hate them, although 99% of the time they have nothing to do with it.
Nobody is totally successful or a total failure-we always lack something. The devil is the fruit of our imagination-to my mind the problem does not exist, but only in our heads..
I quite agree with Yasser Jaamour. Every successful person you know today has a “price” story to tell. Just like Hind S. Abdulhay posted, it is only a fruit loaded with fruits that people throw stones at. Also, customs officers will never go after an empty containers. They go after vehicles loaded with heavy goods.
Regards,
Modestus.
You can not be loved by everybody but must always try to cultivate good character, be humble to both small and mighty and learn to forgive from your heart and forget.
You know you are successful only when you get hate speech from people around you.
people who hate successful people, it's because they have not achieved that success
This is normal. People hate successful people and if they fail to cope with them, Good Lord, mercy be upon them!
This is certainly a question whose answers, which one can try, do not immediately lead to a release from mental stress. But talking about it and exchanging experiences are, I believe, steps in the right direction.
1. there are always reasons that other people don't like me, especially if you work in hierarchical structures and a certain competitive thinking prevails. Our image of people in our environment is a hypothetical construct of our personal experience with the person concerned and our own biography, which processes experiences with other people. You can indeed have a lot of success in your life, and that means for your mental equilibrium that the people you are constantly dealing with participate in it, or are rejected because they themselves are less successful and their self-esteem suffers from it. Sex-specific behaviours also play a role in resentment and hatred of other people - I am expressing this particularly harshly now -; negative attitudes, whether mutual or one-sided, are generated and built up differently in men than in women.
2. In any case, when obvious injustices occur in social interactions, it must be discussed. You have to call a spade in an open atmosphere in which willingness to change the situation can develop. If you are the boss of subordinates, you may not consider certain expectations of individuals or one employee may feel that he or she is being discriminated against in terms of personal attention. You have to feel that for yourself and should occasionally have a personal conversation about it.
3. A completely different situation arises when scientists from different universities become hostile to each other. This happened in my life as a university teacher when I once publicly criticized research methods and interpretations of another scientist (there was no other way). Here, the reasons and criticisms must be clearly stated as objectively as possible, especially if third parties suffer from objectively unjustified criticism. All we can say here is that history will ultimately decide who is right and who is wrong.
Regarding the style of behavior to other persons in the field of our social interactions: To encourage, to motivate and to have common pleasure with others should be better than only to criticize. I know, this advice is simpler said than done.
I agree with opinions of those who see in such people their jeleousness because of your success. I am a "victim" of such attitude from side of one colleage during many years at my University. A person without any reason tries to make to me bad things. And he is a professor. It is astonishing, is not it? Academic have time to think how to hurt another Professor. Of course this cannot makes obstacles for me for moving on, even more, this makes me extremely mobilized and active, however it is impossible to ignore this fact completely, at least on emotional level. The fact of permanent envy creates uncomfortable condition for work, for interrelation with others as he tries to involve in this students too. I sure it is against academic ethic the basis of which I see in collaboration and mutual respect. Actually, I love to be academic because of specific interrelation between people: readiness to help each other, to collaborate, to solve tasks jointly. Thank you for this thought-provoking question and also for excellent answers. They are very encouraging. I think the discourses on academic ethics and standards of behavior has existential importance for academic community.
Dear Dr. Duraid K. AI-Taey,
Thank you for this question!
Very interesting answers of our colleagues.
Regards
I agree with you Prof. Mariam Chkhartishvili. Envy at workplace is very common. It is alarming that academics who should be busy with research and teaching also have time to envy fellow researcher or colleagues at workplace. I support brotherly love and team work not witch-hunting and backbiting at workplace. Thank you.
Regards,
Modestus
I too experience the same thing..
But only solution to it is ignore it and try to avoid it. As we don't want to go to their level.
There is a proverb that "Crows are everywhere black and they always used to be like that only.
So..
According to my experience just ignore them, just consider them as a part of furniture, believe me it really works ;)
Those who hated me or tried to hurt me did not do that because of my success but for other reasons: they are either deluded by wicked persons or obeyed orders from above "them" to do that.
My parents raised me to be well-mannered with every human being & to never cause harm to anybody. Therefore, anyone who targets me with hatred or hurting has no basis to do that at all. S/he just exposes herself/himself.
I think dealing with your enemies in a constructive way is essential for having success, it can even become a strong motivator, so take it sportingly.
“Tell me who your enemy is, and I will tell you who you are.” (Carl Schmitt)
Ignorance is the best solution. We need to keep calm and silence, let's our success makes the sound.
Ignore such people and go ahead in your way and focus on your plan. May ALLAH protect you from those people. Ameen
If you know that you have done nothing wrong, then it is jealousy that you are dealing with. I agree with Robert - carry on and keep faith.
The deadly sins of jealousy and envy, like the other fundamental sins (deadly sins), are realities with which the ordinary man has to fight daily. First, is the biggest, the greatest inner struggle with yourself, to limit as much as this sin in you; then the external struggle to help others will be less affected by these sins. See this page:
https://www.openbible.info/topics/envy_and_jealousy
jealousy and envy are sadly deadly, also in Hinduism:
https://www.thehindu.com/thehindu/2000/04/22/stories/10220906.htm
Freeing of desires and passions is a solution to remove these sins ... One of the solutions ... give to those who suffer what they want from you, but do not forget to suggest the suffering brought about by the realization of the desires and the possession. .
Buddhism also shows us these sins and gives us solutions ...
https://www.thoughtco.com/jealousy-and-envy-449504
The religion of Islam also considers these sins, and gives very good advice for the healing of souls:
https://islamqa.info/en/12205.
Read and try to turn knowing into facts. At the same time, a counsel from the monks, the advice that comes from Jesus: pray for yourself and, especially pray for those who do these sins against you! Pray that these sins do not touch you! Pray for these sins to leave all those around you! Try ... it's clear that the effect will not be immediate, but try!
God help us !
When someone feels inferior, they often express their feelings in the form of jealousy or hate. These feelings can cause uncomfortable situations and make you feel bad for your success. This is usually common at workplace. The best way to deal with this is to make such person understand that you don't appreciate negativity or ignore the person completely.
ignore that and do your job it will help you to achieve the success
Did you ever wonder in a democratic systems a winning candidate never receives 100%. On a personal level, it is simply jealousy. Thus, succeed anyway and smile at your detractors!
I am a biochemist of biotin study. I have previously found that biotin concentration assessed by HPLC is c.a. 2,000-fold higher than orthodox biotin assay (using bacteria) (please see file; Wide range of Biotin). Interestingly, I have recently found that serum hormone concentration by HPLC is the level of 1.0 μg/mg of serum protein or 70 μg/mL of serum volume, which is extremely different from values of notorious ELISA method (1 ng/mL as said by notorious ELISA method).
Therefore, I have recently published a book "My Battle in Biochemical Biotin Study with an HPLC as Katana".
I think that battle is obeyed only by truth. Therefore, I like Greece Philosopher Socrates very much.
I must further say that Wikipedia sometimes says false result; The tall poppy syndrome describes aspects of a culture where people of high status are resented, attacked, cut down, strung up or criticised because they have been classified as superior to their peers. The term has been used in cultures of the English-speaking world.
I do not understand such mysterious disease of tall poppy syndrome at all.
Jealousy can not be obstructed.
Consider it as a normal phenomenon related with success.
Thanks.
Tall Poppy Syndrome. It is a well understood scenario.
As long as such people hate you, be assured that you are on the right track. The actual problem pops up when all of a sudden they stop disliking you instead :)
If your doing everything with etics and it just works, because you make it very good, forget about jealous persons - it's their problem.
But, be gentle and nice to them - it is your privilege to be better then others. This takes you to the highest level of success - its like philantrophy :)
regards,
G
Thank you for asking this question and thanks everyone for those beautiful answers ... I needed that in such a perfect time :)
Sometimes too one has to ask himself whether he has not willingly or unwillingly stepped on any toes.
Again, one has to assess himself whether he did not exploit and dumped people whilst pursuing his career goals or his so-called successful life.
Hi Dr. Duraid K. Al-Taey,
Jealousy and envy will always lead to hate. Expect such when you are exceptionally gifted. For instance, if you are a business man and you are doing far better than your business partners, envy and hate will always set in. Young Stars or People with great gift, exceptional talent and people who are greatly blessed financially are hated for no reason . It is quite natural. Remember the story of how and why Jesus Christ was killed...
Of course!!! simple, if you are successful, you reveal the other people's flaws. in a homogeneous population, if every one sucks, no body can prove that the system sucks because there is not any reference point for success. they accept their stupidity as the normal dynamic of the system. But when someone is successful this difference is enough to prove that others are not, and those others do not like it. However, this normally happens in population where the majority is the unsuccessful ones, because in such an environment it is easier to attack the successful minority than to improve the incompetent majority.
Let people do whatever they want, please dont lend your ears for them.
Great people are are hated by people of the dark sanctum. Remember the story of Joseph, David, Sampson...
It may be difficult to say do and don't do this and that. I would rather quote these and you may have an exact solution.
"The first and best victory is to conquer self" Plato and
" Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing" 1 Peter 3:9.
Well I have experienced such person in life. The only thing I can say is no matter what never let their thoughts and actions get into your head. Because people who hate you will always hate you no matter how many times you have done them favour, always think the negative sense of anything you say and always find opportunity to hurt your feelings because they want to get you angry and hamper your performance. Best thing is to avoid them. People who loves you will accept and support you for who you are.
I recommend the answer from Sanatombi Devi Yumkham ..... (Let people do whatever they want, please dont lend your ears for them).
It is reallythemselves whom they hate for not working as hard as you, or not seeking out opportunities. So long as you truly believe you have done nothing to deserve this (such as fraud or theft), then ignore it. Jealousy harms most the person who feels jealous.
Hate is natural. Have you ever experience a situation where you go market to buy two trousers, you come home and one of them you don't like. The trouser you don't like have done nothing to deserve this treatment. Always assume that you are that trousers, you cant change the way people feel about you. All you have to do is make sure you do the right thing and forget about what other poeple say about you. It will not amount to anything.
As I'm sure you know the best way is ignoring them.
They focus on you while you have a good opportunity to focus on your goal.
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