Gravity potential energy is related to c2 while EM energy is related to c. In terms of quantum oscillators with amplitudes and frequencies, when energies are equal, forces are unequal.
Gravity changes quantum amplitude and frequency by the one fourth power and is thought to propagate as quadrupole structures, while EM is thought to change quantum amplitude and frequency by the one half power and propagate as dipoles.
Forces arise as similar or dissimilar geometries in sets of quantum oscillators. Fields are the accumulation of quanta in such large numbers that the counting of oscillators becomes not relevant to a calculation.
Why Is Gravity Much Weaker Than EM?