19 October MMXXIV

Congratulations to Jane for opening up a pandora's box concerning the sexual aspects of female sexuality.

Cordially...

ASJ

20 October MMXXIV

Jane, what are your thoughts about oral sex?

Cordially...

ASJ

Cunnilingus is not the equivalent of fellatio for many reasons.

For a start fellatio involves massaging the blood flow within the shaft of the penis. Cunnilingus focuses solely on the glans of the clitoris, which lacks erectile tissue. So cunnilingus does not lead to orgasm.

The idea behind cunnilingus is that because the penis enjoys a warm and wet environment that the clitoral glans has the same response. In fact the clitoris, although called the female phallus, is not intended to penetrate any orifice, warm, wet or otherwise. Women have not evolved in such a way as to experience the same pleasure from penetration that men enjoy.

The parallel is a false one. Cunnilingus can be a sensual pleasure for some women. That is why lesbians can spend hours engaging in it. A woman asks a man to stop when she has had enough. But this does not equate to orgasm. Certainly women never pay for cunnilingus. Whereas men do pay for fellatio. Kinsey cited it as one of the top reasons for men to go to prostitutes.

The fact that women do not eulogise about fellatio is an indication that they do not experience the same pleasure from oral sex. Kinsey found that men, being much more sexually responsive, are much more interested in oral sex than women tend to be. In general, men have a genital focus due to their high arousal. Women focus on upper body kissing and caressing. They have little interest in their own genital stimulation due to a lack of arousal.

This perspective reflects some common misconceptions about women’s sexual experiences, desires, and advocacy. In reality, many women and sexual health advocates are actively challenging outdated definitions of female sexual function that center around intercourse alone. The understanding that many women don’t reach orgasm through penetration has been widely accepted in both medical and psychological circles, and conversations around sexual pleasure for women are far more complex and nuanced than simply categorizing them as “dysfunctional.”

Women do discuss sexual pleasure and advocate for a broader understanding of female sexuality, especially when it comes to clitoral stimulation, emotional connection, and other forms of eroticism. The notion that women don’t “care” about these definitions often stems from a culture that has historically minimized their sexual experiences, leaving less space for them to openly discuss sexual pleasure on their terms. This is changing, however, as more women speak out, and as society shifts toward a more inclusive understanding of sexual health that goes beyond traditional intercourse-centered views.

prostitution is understood as exchange of sex for resources or money. in most case people think that are interested in prostitutes for intercourse. but it may be for different reason.. men in Uganda for example go to these women to share emotions not sex. others truly go prostitutes to cool their sex urges or share company and a drink. sex is a resource not a commodity

best regards

Peter Fuuna gender and environment

Thanks Peter for commenting! Your comment, however, does not address my question which concerns the definition of female sexuality in terms of providing the intercourse that satisfies male sexual needs. Men nearly always pay for sex, either directly or indirectly. Kinsey found that men go to prostitutes for a variety of reasons. Typically they are younger and less educated men who have less need for the emotional reassurance of a partner's simulated response. Men go to find out what sex with a prostitute is like, to obtain the fellatio their wives will not supply and the intercourse that many wives do not offer with the frequency most men desire. Some men have specific sexual fantasies that they can only act out when paying a woman to participate. A man who has a long-standing relationship with a mistress or prostitute is likely to experience more emotional reassurance from the fact that she is willing to invest in his need for regular intercourse.

Hello Peter Fuuna , your response represents the classic attempt to intellectualize male entitlement with a thin philosophical glaze. You say “sex might be a resource for men,” as if you're discussing natural gas or rice. That’s not just a red flag — that’s the entire stadium lit up in neon. Framing sex as a “resource” treats women as the fields from which it’s extracted. That’s not theory; that’s patriarchy in a business suit.

You then pivot to prostitution, as if it neatly justifies your point. But no — prostitution isn’t simply about “exchanging sex for resources.” It’s about the commodification of women under structures of inequality. You seem to forget that the vast majority of sex work happens in contexts where women lack real choice. Poverty, coercion, and systemic disenfranchisement aren’t just footnotes — they are the story.

And your Uganda example? Saying men go to prostitutes “to share emotions” is like claiming people go to fast food joints for deep philosophical conversations. Sure, it might happen, but let’s not pretend it’s the industry standard. Framing men’s emotional needs as the justification for using women’s bodies erases the power imbalance and reinforces the very objectification you're trying to distance yourself from.

Let’s be real (and mindful, why not) : when men buy access to women’s time, bodies, or presence — whether for sex, conversation, or “cooling off urges” — it’s not about connection. It’s about control. And you can’t rebrand that with some pseudo-academic hand-waving.