Given women’s sexual passivity and their reluctance to refer directly to sex, men fill the void by assuming that women respond sexually as men do. Women who boast about orgasm to attract male attention, also imply that they respond as men do. Yet no one can name any female erotic turn-ons. Women refer to their emotional (rather than erotic) responses with a lover. Men know that women are offended by eroticism, so they approach women by offering friendship rather than referring directly to sex.

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