I'm doing my bachelor in psychology, and my main area is lying; the social and intentional lie. My topic is on, how lying makes us feel and when we lie in different social contexts. My question is: Why is it a bigger problem to figure out if you have been lied to, than perhaps the lie itself?
Let me answer from the point of view of the person that has perceived a lie has been committed by a person interacting with them. Detecting a lie raises lots of questions, including the following:
What are the consequences of allowing this lie to go unchallenged?
Why is the person telling a lie in this instance?
What does it say about me, and the relationship, that this person is telling any lie?
What does it say about me, and the relationship that this person is telling this particular lie?
Can the person detect that I have caught them out telling a lie?
Do I challenge them on it?
Now that this person has opened the door to telling lies, is it fair game for me to lie back in return?
...
All of the questions that are raised by a lie being detected may be associated with their own feelings or range of feelings.
One of the things that interests me is how habitual liars often lack insight into how many people detect their lies, but don't call them on a lie. It may not be socially acceptable in a group situation to call someone on a lie or call them a liar except in circumstances where others are affected in some serious way.
That is just my initial thoughts but I would be interested to see any further comments on this topic.
Up-dates as regards telling lies:
Conflict in Roles: Lying to the In-Group Versus the Out-Group in Negotiations . Glac, Katherina; Warren, Danielle E; Chen, Chao C. Business & Society 53.3 (May 2014): 440-460
The relation between 8- to 17-year-olds’ judgments of other’s honesty and their own past honest behaviors. Evans, Angela D.; Lee, Kang. International Journal of Behavioral Development 38.3 (May 2014): 277-281.
“A life worth living." Langan, Robert. Psychotherapy 51.2 (Jun 2014): 322-323.
Trust at zero acquaintance: More a matter of respect than expectation of reward. Dunning, David; Anderson, Joanna E.; Schlösser, Thomas; Ehlebracht, Daniel; Fetchenhauer, Detlef. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 107.1 (Jul 2014): 122-141.
Bullying in the digital age: A critical review and meta-analysis of cyberbullying research among youth. Kowalski, Robin M.; Giumetti, Gary W.; Schroeder, Amber N.; Lattanner, Micah R.. Psychological Bulletin 140.4 (Jul 2014): 1073-1137.
Collective Interviewing: Eliciting Cues to Deceit Using a Turn-Taking Approach Vernham, Zarah; Vrij, Aldert; Mann, Samantha; Leal, Sharon; Hillman, Jackie. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law (June 16, 2014).
Police interviewing and interrogation of juvenile suspects: A descriptive examination of actual cases. Cleary, Hayley M. D.. Law and Human Behavior 38.3 (Jun 2014): 271-282.
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