It is a complex question to answer in one or two lines. On the one hand, we can say that women are less interested in sex than men, but we can observe that there are women who really do love having sex and have had multiple sexual encounters. It is mostly the reasons and psychological thinking behind sex that make women question whether they are really into sex or not. One of the most common reasons is not being able to reach orgasm or find a perfect rhythm that is required between a couple to enjoy sex or reach orgasm. Another reason is that woman have multiple acute stressors in their daily lives that make them more prone to being irritated about thinking of such pleasures. Also, considering how women are always shamed for having sex or even having fantasies makes them suppress their thoughts and forces them to believe that they are less into sexual activity than men.

Thanks for commenting Simran! You need to understand the motivating factors for women when engaging in sexual activity. Providing men with penetrative sex nearly always includes a male willingness to reward a woman. Women who engage in casual sex enjoy the sexual admiration, the ego and the other rewards of pleasing men sexually. Women are not aroused with a lover. No one can name any female erotic turn-ons. So women do not enjoy the erotic rewards that motivate men to want intercourse. You need to read Rosemary Basson's work. Alfred Kinsey and Shere Hite also concluded that orgasm is not important to many women and that they mistake orgasm with a lover. Women look for emotional rewards from their relationships with men.

A stronger recognition that women’s sexual response more commonly stems from intimacy needs rather than a need for physical sexual arousal leads to an alternative understanding of women’s sexual desire ... (Basson, 2000)

Orgasmic release is extremely variable and is not essential for sexual satisfaction for women. (Basson, 2000)

Thank you, Jane, for sharing your insights and for pointing me toward Basson’s work, along with the perspectives of Kinsey and Shere Hite. I appreciate the argument that women’s sexual response is often shaped by intimacy needs and that orgasm is not always the central driver of sexual satisfaction.

While I understand and respect this perspective, I also believe it represents one important part of a much broader spectrum of female sexuality. Many women do experience spontaneous desire, erotic excitement, and physical arousal independent of relational or emotional rewards, particularly in contexts where social stigma and internalized shame are minimized. Contemporary research also highlights that women’s sexual motivation can be multidimensionally driven, not only by intimacy but also by curiosity, pleasure-seeking, and erotic self-expression. I think it is crucial to recognize the diversity of women’s sexual motivations, ranging from intimacy-driven to pleasure-driven, to avoid reinforcing a narrow or heteronormative script that limits female sexual agency.

I think acknowledging this diversity is critical to avoid overgeneralizing women’s experiences or reinforcing traditional scripts that limit how female desire is understood. I will certainly engage more deeply with Basson’s model, but I also see value in integrating it with perspectives that highlight sexual agency, variability, and sociocultural influence.

I think you are confusing the pressure on women to talk about their sexual experiences in terms that men expect with true sexual responsiveness. Few women seem to understand that arousal and orgasm occur as a result of the brain's response to erotic stimuli - not emotional stimuli. Women claim to orgasm without any mental, erotic or physical stimuli. This is nonsense but researchers are so desperate to portray female sexuality in male terms that any and every female orgasm claim is documented as evidence of female sexual response. No one can name even one female erotic turn-on. I have not found many women who are capable of discussing sexual response. Most women think they are supposed to respond to the stimulation that men provide. They assume that what is portrayed in pornography and erotic fiction must equate to someone's reality. It is sadly all fiction.