Human suffering may to some extent result from attachment to ideas, assumptions, expectations, people, success etc., and on the contrary, non-attachment to others, dreams and goals etc. Human suffering will always be there, yet how do we exercise and balance attachment and non-attachment simultaneously in order to suffer, to some extent, less than we did before?
Perhaps the answer is not attachment, it may be our reluctance to change when we are forced to do so after all other options are already tried out.
Perhaps the answer is not attachment, it may be our reluctance to change when we are forced to do so after all other options are already tried out.
Thanks for a profound question. Here are my two cents:
Psychotherapy can help us reduce our suffering and lessen, if not heal, our pain. For instance, ACT helps us accept our suffering and gain a different perspective on it (Hayes et al, 2012), and grief therapy can help us recover from our suffering and losses and reinvest our energy into other pursuits (Worden, 2014).
Based on its four noble truths, Buddhist philosophy offers wisdom in letting go our attachments in order to reduce our pain and suffering (Alexander, 2017; O’Brien, 2019).
Christian theology teaches that we might not understand the meaning of our suffering, but a loving God is always with us and willing to help and heal us (Job 40:3-5, 42:1-6; Psalm 23; Psalm 46:1). It further teaches that good things can come out of suffering (e.g., character development, glorifying God, and helping fellow sufferers, etc.) (Romans 5:3-5; John 9:3; 2 Corinthians 3-11).
Thank you for your answers. I think this a challenging question and I’m not sure if there is an answer to it. I’m familiar with the idea and principles around acceptance. However, we can also accept things yet still suffer due to our attachment/and non-attachment to things. Suffering is inevitable in life. Maybe surrender is a different level of acceptance?
Also how do we define attachment and non-attachment? I’m sure it means a variety of different things to people depending on their past and current circumstances. I got interested in this question after reading the Tibetan book of living and dying, the practice of meditation, the nature of mind, karma and rebirth, and the trials and rewards of the spiritual path (Rinpoche, 1994).
Here’s how I see it. Attachment to other people is fundamental to who we are. Without the shelter of attachments, the world is a cold place. When someone we love dies, we suffer. That suffering is inescapable.
The kind of attachment that we want to avoid is attachment to things as they are. Everything changes. If we deny that, we suffer, and whatever suffering is created by the change or loss itself is magnified by our resistance.
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