I suggest that men are proactive due to their arousal. Women are sexually passive due to lack of arousal. Men assume that women are aroused as they are. So they think that physical stimulation will cause orgasm. Men stimulate a woman for a few minutes and then assume that she must have had an orgasm because men orgasm within these kind of time frames. But no one can name any female erotic turn-ons. So women are never aroused. No arousal equals no orgasm. Female orgasm is just a token of female appreciation and vital to male ego.