Whether or not she herself reaches orgasm, many a female finds satisfaction in knowing that her husband or other sexual partner has enjoyed the contact, and in realizing that she has contributed to the male’s pleasure. (Alfred Kinsey)
Firstly, evolutionary adaptations suggest that sex serves purposes such as forming social bonds, securing resources, and ensuring offspring survival. Women may feel emotionally fulfilled through these primal mechanisms.
Attachment theory emphasizes the emotional connections formed during sex. Women seek feelings of love, security, and emotional closeness with their partners, which are rooted in early childhood experiences.
Self-determination theory suggests that women find emotional satisfaction in sex when their psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness are met. Feeling empowered, competent, and connected during sexual experiences contributes to this fulfillment.
Social exchange theory highlights the evaluation of benefits versus costs in sexual relationships. Women may experience emotional rewards when the benefits of sex, such as pleasure, intimacy, validation, and social status, outweigh any perceived costs or risks.
Lastly, sexual strategies theory posits that women seek emotional fulfillment in sex that aligns with their reproductive goals, such as finding high-quality mates, securing resources, and enhancing social desirability.
Overall, women derive emotional rewards from sex through a complex interplay of evolutionary adaptations, attachment needs, fulfillment of psychological needs, assessment of costs and benefits, and alignment with reproductive goals. These rewards encompass feelings of love, security, autonomy, competence, pleasure, intimacy, validation, and social status.
Lots of theories but no much evidence that women are willing to confirm any of them. I suggest that the belief that women orgasm with a lover keeps them silent. They have been promised the impossible and feel sexually inadequate. The insistence that women orgasm with a lover needs to be relaxed to get women talking. But you have certainly summarised the beliefs about women's so-called emotional orgasms. These are not true orgasms but simply women's amenability to offering sex to a man in order to keep him tied into a relationship with her and to incentivise him to support the family.
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