Expecting your valuable experience/opinion on how we can overcome if someone is forcefully making you fool? In fact, you are very honest.
Thank you in advance for your answer.
Best regards!
RUN AWAY! GET AWAY! The best thing to do when you are dealing with a pathological liar or any other type of toxic person is to go No Contact, or, if that is not possible, limit contact as much as possible. I used to get angry at liars and manipulators. But now I realize they are very sick people and I pity them.
You can feel bad for them that they are afflicted with a mental illness or mental disorder, but that doesn't mean you get involved in their games and lies. I cover sports agents and other very manipulative people. People lying to me and trying to play me has happened to me, many, times. Thanks to sports agents, I can spot a lie or a con about 5,000 miles away. I do different things, depending on the person who is telling the lie or playing the game.
1) If it is someone I don't have to deal with for business or any other reason, I cut them off completely. I block them on social media, don't return their calls or emails, etc. If I have to see them on the street, I keep walking. If they say, "Hi, How are you?" I say "Great," and keep walking. 2) If I have to deal with them for business, or, for example I am writing a story that involves them, I say: "I don't believe you." Before I decided to be a nicer person, I would say: "Don't fuckin lie to me." And "You will rue the day you lied to me!" (It is really a matter of personality style.) 3) I look at them after they have told the lie and say nothing. (Most liars are nervous and will fill the silence with the truth or another even more absurd lie.)
4) If it is someone I have to see because of a business or family or friend situation, I limit contact as much as possible. "Hi. Nice to see you. Oh! look at the time. Have to go!" 5) If I don't have to know for business any other reason what they are saying is true or not, I don't engage with them and/or argue with them or try to prove they are lying.
Best Regards Shukra Raj Paudel
Good answers already, and I would avoid swearing if not normal communication, as it is a sign the person is getting to you, making you angry. Some people might tear you down with impression that it builds them up. It does not of course, but they want power, dominance, control and will use lying or other means in attempts to make others appear weak in front of others, or attempt to take away your self esteem and confidence. Some of this may be juvenile, mean spirited bullying. It is hard to turn the other cheek, and not fight back with words or deeds, but as suggested, avoidance and not reacting is the best approach. If the attacks become physical, you might take up a defensive sport like Kung Foo to protect yourself, but not turn to aggression yourself. Some bullying is more mental or choosing to redicule as their way to get to your confidence. One must understand that truthfulness is a virtue, yet a liar does not understand. Treating others as you wish to be treated is always best, as even bullies secretly want to be loved and admired, but may not have been brought up in a loving and accepting home. At times, avoidance may be a practical way to reduce interaction. Forgiving others is also not easy, but may help remove some of the pain and anger. You might watch Karate Kid movie. Some individuals for one reason or another just have a mean spirit.
Shurka,
I believe as professionals we struggle with this challenge. Remember, these individuals are toxic polluntants and should be treated as such. They cannot take your power unless you relinguish it to them. In some instances, it may be a communication problem not an intentional "putdown." Try to understand prior to being understood.
There is an excellent article written by Dr. Travis Bradberry coauthor of EMOTIONAL Intellengence. The article is titled "10 Toxic People You Avoid Like the Plaque." The article was published on 9 October 2018 on Linkedin. He specifcally addresses the following "toxic-drainers" and the phylogical response and deterimetal effects to the brain and body. With that said, here is the list.
- -The Self-Absorbed,
- -The Envious,
- The Manipulator,
- The Dementor,
- The Twisted,
- The Judgmental,
- The Arrogant,
In the article he identifies key characteristics and "how" to neutralize them. Lot's of instances the "flight or fight" option is NOT feasiable. Dr. Travis Bradberry concludes by dicussing how to protect yourself once you spot these "polluntants" headed your way.
You need a thicker-skin, it takes time. Heighten "Emotional Intellengence" can change the way you think and improve your life by developing key emotional intellengence skills critical for relationships in the world of work.
Wish I was aware of these skill-sets earier in my career. Just remember they can't eat you.
Good Luck...don't let the bastards get you down.
Regards,
Neil...
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