How to deal with relationship problems (such as with spouse, or with children, or parents, or friends, or in romantic relationships with one of the opposite sex), (in the short term and in the long term) on the way to become successful as a professional scientist (or a social scientist, or a doctor or an engineer or an academician)?
I would request everyone to discuss this issue, which discussion I think would be very helpful for every one in RG.
If the partners remain faithful to each other in their marriage and are able to discuss differences of opinion openly and find a common solution, then a large part of the problems is tamed.
I referred the question to marriage, but you can apply it in a similar way to interactions with other scientists. If we are honest and warm-hearted with others, we can expect a reaction in the same way. Empathy is an important quality in optimising social interactions.
Dear Syed Naimul Wadood ,
To add few things on what Hein Retter reply: open discussion is key in any of the situations. Your work may not make sense to your kids but explain to them in a way they can understand. It has been said that the best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
All the best!!
Dear Syed Naimul Wadood
Women have always had to multitask so becoming a research scientist is just another facet of her being which she juggles with all her other commitments. For most women it is not a question of either or, she just prioritises in the moment and things turn out more or less well. I am always surprised and also delighted when help arrives when we most need it. Men still have a lot to learn about multitasking!
With a smile - Tina
Hein Retter and Mohammed Kemal
Thank you very much for your insightful responses. I think these key points are quite useful.
Tina Lindhard
Dear Dr. Tina, this is one interesting point to notice, men and women quite noticeably differ in how to deal with personal life relationship issues while trying to focus on professional life directions, say, as a professional scientist. I agree that men still needs to know a lot about multi-tasking from women, not many men are good in multi-tasking. Whereas woman spends a lot of her time in multi-tasking, and likewise she deals with her relationship issues from the point of view of multi-tasking and priority setting at any given time.
Thanks.
The Social Panorama Model, (Crown House, Anglo American Press, UK, 2005) is my practical answer.
is an institute in India, that teaches it. Just Google Social Panorama and Sociaal Panorama, to find more. I wish you success.
Open and clear communication, honesty and integrity go a long way in establishing and maintaining positive relationships, be it with a spouse, partner, boss or coworker. Hidden agendas hamper honest communication. Trust can only be developed though honesty and openness.
Srini Vasan
Dear Dr. Srini Vasan, thanks for your discussion point.
I also think "trust" and "absence of hidden agendas" as to be built up on clear and transprent communication, empathy, understanding, deep insightfulness, honesty of purpose and clear conscience-- these are important issues here.
HI. You bring in the point of adult learners. Adult learning is VERY different from the young student life. One of the absolute "Musts" is for adult learners to solicit the crucial support of their nearest and dearest especially in terms of role delegation, time contribution, financial obligations and responsibilities that are going to be shared. Failure to engage the support of all concerned can have detrimental effects on relationships that can be long lasting.
Hi there! I believe that problems here refer to setbacks in an on going relations. We need to go back a little and move forward to future and finally land in present.
1.The very foundation of the relationship needs to be examined and revisited for remembering what we expected and agreed in the beginning.
2. Even though we agreed on somethings, we might need to act opposite as it is an eventuality. So What is the future of this relationship with this changed or unchanged agreements? ( obviously everyone has the right to be informed)
3. After analysing all these in front of your partner, Seek the person's help and love to live in the present. Now it is their sweet trouble.
Best.