Each partner devises a bucket list of sexual

likes and dislikes, together with dark fantaslies. Then, be brave enough to discuss openly and explore safely

Thanks Larry for commenting. Research indicates that many, probably most, women never experience erotic fantasies of any kind. The male mind responds to many more erotic stimuli than the female mind. Sexual response is a vital characteristic of male reproductive function. Female sexual response is a rare phenomenon that is poorly understood because it occurs when a responsive woman (who responds positively to erotic stimuli) masturbates to orgasm when alone. Female orgasm does not occur with a lover because a woman's sexual role is to facilitate male orgasm. Any female proactive behaviours with a lover focus on her arousing or stimulating a man rather than obtaining the physical and mental stimulation she requires to achieve her own orgasm. Women are not aroused and do not orgasm with a lover. I have not found a single woman who can explain convincingly how she achieves orgasm with a lover. Women claim to orgasm without any mental, erotic or physical stimulation. Shere Hite called these emotional orgasms - the sensations women mistake for orgasm because of men's insistence that they should have them with a lover. Men and women talk of female orgasm because no one can explain how women are aroused. But as men know very well, orgasm occurs as a result of releasing accumulated mental and consequent physical arousal. Without arousal (without an erection) orgasm is not possible.

I seldom disagree with colleagues via this format because I value communication. As such, given the opportunity, I am certain understanding and acceptance could be achieved where disagreement temporarily prevails. This aside, I find myself disagreeing with many of the claims posited here; they seem factually incorrect, socio-culturally and religiously constrained By outdated patriarchal views. Moreover, the more recently scientific evidence would quickly dispel these misconceptions. Women do enjoy erotic fantasies; they also enjoy multiphase orgasms and, yes, penile intercourse does not lead to reliable orgasms for women; something that could easily be remedied by open communication and safe exploration.

Few men are willing to accept that intercourse does not cause female orgasm. Men assume that because being a penetrator is arousing, being the receiver must be equally arousing. Yet few heterosexual men ever experience being the receiver. You are spreading myths about female orgasm rather than the research findings. Women are much less sexually responsive than men on average. Any information to the contrary is just sexual ignorance and male wishful thinking. I have not found a single woman who can explain how she achieves arousal, let alone orgasm. Women think that orgasm occurs from their emotional responses to a loving partner. This is clearly a difference experience to the male equivalent. I do not see how anyone can equate the erotic with the emotional. But people are intent on asserting that women respond sexually as men do.

Respectfully, by ignoring contemporary research in psychology and sexuality, views highlighted suggest an outdated understanding of women's sexuality. First, it is understood that women do not consistently achieve orgasms via penetration; yet, women do enjoy pleasurable orgasms. The clitoris, not the vaginal canal, is the focus of attention during creative foreplay. Precisely, why I suggested the importance of communication. Interesting side note: mature men do not achieve orgasm simply from penetration, either. This would suggest both groups require more then the physical act to enjoy pleasurable release. Second, it is not accurate to claim that women are less sexually responsive than men. It suggest a bias. Clearly, emotional connection, hormonal factors, trust are key variables. Third, the emotional connection, intimacy is what is needed to improve the quality of intimacy. Fourth, "I have not found a single woman who can explain how she achieves arousal" highlights a possible limitation in the methodology, the collection of women's voices, the sample size, etc. Fourth, the gender assumptions are still evident, and the patriarchal structured still employed to frame the narrative. Finally, I revisit the importance of communication. A woman who is in touch with her sexuality, and fully capable of communicating her needs and wants, together with a partner who listens for the purpose of understanding her needs and wants we create a trusting, exploratory eroticism that will support women to achieve not just an orgasm

Women do not have sexual needs as men do. They have emotional needs which are mostly ignored by men. You have not answered my question. Why are men so unwilling to explain how they pleasure a female partner? What erotic turn-ons do you supply to assist with female arousal? What precise stimulation technique do you find causes female orgasm? Does you lovemaking then end? Stimulation that focuses on achieving orgasm, ends when orgasm is achieved. The stimulation that leads to orgasm is consistent (always the same). It does not include a variety of anatomy. Men focus stimulation on the penis. They take the initiative in obtaining the penile stimulation they want. Women are sexually passive due to lack of arousal. They allow a man to stimulate them in any way he chooses. Then a man assumes that a woman must have had an orgasm from the stimulation he has chosen to supply - usually without any discussion with the woman. Can you name any female turn-ons? Do you talk to your partner about how she achieves orgasm alone? Why don't couples discuss these facts? I suggest that most women have no idea how to achieve their own orgasm. So men haven't a chance. Men are just searching in the dark. It is unscientific to use phrases such as 'a woman who is in touch with her sexuality'. What does that men exactly? Are you in touch with your sexuality? Sex is the one topic where people (especially men) think they know it all. They see no value in presenting the research findings which clearly indicate that women are talking about emotional responses with a lover.