… females who had used fingers or other objects in vaginal penetrations did so … because such penetrations had been recommended by some male… whose interpretations of female anatomy and sexual physiology were based primarily on the misunderstanding of the nature of coitus. (Alfred Kinsey)
12 October MMXXIV
I seriously doubt that most women received advice from men to use their fingers to masturbate!
They couldn't be that dumb!
Cordially...
ASJ
This is a problem with sex education. People will question the conclusions of someone like Alfred Kinsey who dedicated decades to sex research. They think they already know it all. So you might as well stop reading the information I provide. Men enjoy women who provide a genital display. So pornography shows women fingering themselves so that men can watch. None of this activity leads to female orgasm. It is all directed at achieving male arousal. Male doctors and male clinicians even today assume that women orgasm from vaginal penetration. Few women promote masturbation but prefer to promote the emotional rewards of intercourse. This is very confusing for women who do masturbate to orgasm.
At about age 12 my Dad explained about turning a button. He never again spoke of anything related to sex nor ever approached me. I think he was concerned that my nine years older brother had tried to touch me because my brother would bully me then speak badly about me to him behind my back. At the time Dad was a Colonel and my brother an rotc cadet. I recorded the conversation secretly and still have it, suspecting Dad was angry about someone. Somehow my Dad’s button description and referring to my brother as ric-order (German variant of Heinrich as in Himmler) made sense when I remembered at age seven while attending a Franciscan convent a man standing near me groping me with his left hand on a Florence bus I was on with my Mom. At the convent unwanted attention from strangers was called “evil” or the “devil”. Not wanting to bring public attention to the man as “evil” or “devil” I pushed the man’s hand away and went over to my Mom who was sitting.
Thanks Silvia for commenting! Sexuality is a highly personal topic, which makes it difficult for anyone to discuss. But women are particularly reluctant to discuss their sexuality. This leads men to define female sexuality in terms of their own fantasies and the result is universal sexual ignorance and confusion! Women need to start defining their own sexuality in terms of their emotional needs rather than any need for direct genital stimulation, which has little significance for most women. Women tend to refer to lovemaking.
The different anatomy involved in lovemaking and masturbation often goes unremarked upon by women due to a combination of social conditioning, limited sexual education, and outdated cultural norms around female pleasure. Many women are not encouraged to explore or discuss their own anatomy in detail, and sexual education has traditionally focused on reproductive aspects rather than on understanding pleasure anatomy, like the clitoris, which plays a central role in female orgasm but is less directly involved in penetrative sex.
Additionally, a lot of men are also reluctant to openly discuss their own sexuality, which can further inhibit open conversations about sexual anatomy and pleasure. This silence reinforces gendered misunderstandings, leaving both partners with limited frameworks for discussing the unique aspects of female pleasure. However, as awareness grows and conversations become more inclusive, many women are gaining a better understanding of the distinct ways their bodies experience pleasure in solo versus partnered experiences.
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