I have had a chance to rotate in an oncology unit but a patient came to me and shared their lived experience about dying and pretence. l know its tough and very difficult; this kept me wondering! How are our brains capable of going through excruciating agony and still pretend? Any feedback will be highly appreciated?
Dear Daniel,
I think it has to do with denial.
Article Miss B Pursues Death and Miss P Life in the Light of V. E. F...
A year ago, my spinal condition got dignosed as incurable so I had nothing else than to wait with a tremendous pain, sometimes at 8/10 to get it even worse for the surgery. As I am an expert in medical law, my gut did not tell me that something like that is incurable. So I was searching and got many neurosurgical separate opinions of whom the most were agreeing that condition was incurable on the basis that "no one would have a gut to do it". So, it was not inclurable, doctors only lack being brave. So, I got consultations in Germany that was curable and before I started to search for solution to get treated in Germany I found Croatian doctor who had guts and did it. The condition was life threatening, unpredictable, I could of be dead before the end of this year. Now, I felt I was dying but also I wished to die, so every morning I would say to myself "oh, not again!" I wouldn't say that people are pretendig when they think that there is a hope to stay alive. I for example couldn't bare the pain and if having 10/10 (which happened immediately after the surgery) every day I would loose hope and commit suicide for sure. Not that I was not trying tough even at scale 8/10, but dosages did not work (lol) and at the end I would end up in the ER for more pain medications. I think that eventually hope in survival rather than denial has to do much with just a feeling that you may, even diagnosed as with incurable condition, somehow survive. But that is what it is, only my personal experience. More people in similar situation as Mr. Stoica said you ask, you get more true answer.
Waking up every morning and pretending you aren't dying is a sign hypocrisy and foolishness. Portraying the reality on the ground will even create an avenue for those around you to come to your aid when you are dying.
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