Fine is an enigmatic word that has many facets of feelings. We went out for dinner with a friend, and our friend said "Let's go to a fine restaurant!". That means the best of its kind. After dinner, we asked "How's the food?", and he said, "It's fine!". That means the food is okay. We exited the restaurant and saw his car was towed for parking at the wrong spot. Then we were fined meaning being charged for money. And when we asked our friend, "You okay?", He replied, "I'm FINE!". That means he felt terrible about the event that just occurred.
A similar thing happened when I asked my students whether they understood what was just taught. Most of them would say "yes!" with perhaps a different level of understanding. And what does that response inform me as their teacher? It's almost nothing. I think there have to be a million better questions we can ask the students to check their understanding, intrigue them to elaborate more, and build interpersonal relationships that later foster trust between each other (student-teacher or student-student). What would be the questions you could think of? I wonder. #teacher #education #collaboration #cooperation #interpersonal #fine
Hello Taufik,
I enjoyed your illustration of the hidden complexities of language and the opportunity to ponder the value of trust-building questions in an academic setting. Your students are fortunate to have you! As a youth volunteer in my community, the situation you describe is familiar.
My favorite questions for cultivating learning, trust, and engagement are (1) open-ended, (2) convey psychological safety (so they’ll answer!), and (3) invite simultaneous group participation—the power of peer pressure!
Disclaimer: the following example utilizes a creative approach to cultivating psychological safety, but is my absolute favorite way to reach disengaged student groups.
“By a show of hands, is there anyone who understands this so well, you couldn’t possibly come up with a question—even if your grade depended on it?”
The usual result: students see everyone has questions (minus a rambunctious student here and there) and psychological safety is established.
Now you can ask:
“Good! Everyone has questions. Quick—name one..”
or
“Let’s see how many we can come up with as a group”
(list them out and watch students synthesize together)
I love finding creative ways to engage! I’m eager to learn more strategies from this thread, so—anyone reading—let’s hear them.
Thanks for the stimulating read!
Jessie B.
Linguist here. I might say that you are framing this questions not quite right. It's not so much a question of what magical question will connect with our students, but rather how open how soon a culture normally is. It's not so much a question of find the right variant of "how are you" but rather building rapport over time, so students, in the culture where you are/they are, feel comfortable opening up.
O.k. yes, answering with authenticity requires trust. In the Inclusive Leadership Co-operative, we start building community (trust) by asking four questions (done in a fun, lively, and intimate way that includes Jessica Marie Barriere open ended, safe, and group participation).
"What do you need/what do you do to create...?" We ask this header four times with different last words which are respect, safety, choice and fun. These are pretty universal needs for engagement (not necessarily all at the same time). The method of asking, and sorting the questions and sharing it back to the whole group all contributes to building trust. It can take 30 minutes or a couple hours, but the impact lasts as long as the group is a group. Posters made from the responses reveal group values/guidelines.
In classes with many cultures this can help everyone identify what is most important for interacting in the group.
How are you feeling today? Is there anything you would like to share with me that you haven't yet? What do you value most in a relationship? How can I support you right now? What are your goals and aspiy? Can you tell me about a challenge you have overcome recently? How can we work together more effectively?
Building trust is essential in any relationship, whether personal or professional. Asking meaningful questions can help foster trust by demonstrating genuine interest, empathy, and a desire to connect with the other person on a deeper level. Here are some examples of meaningful questions that can help build trust: Can you tell me about a time when you felt truly understood and supported, What are your most important values, and how do they guide your actions and decisions, What are your goals and aspirations, and how can I support you in achieving them, What challenges are you currently facing, and how can I help you overcome them, What do you need from me to feel valued and respected in our relationship, "What are your strengths, and how can we leverage them to achieve our mutual goals? What do you appreciate most in a trusted relationship, and how can we cultivate that here, Can you share a moment when you felt vulnerable, and how did you navigate through it, Can you share a moment when you felt vulnerable, and how did you navigate through it, How can we communicate more effectively and openly with each other? These questions encourage open and honest dialogue, promote empathy and understanding, and demonstrate a willingness to listen and support the other person. By asking meaningful questions and actively listening to the responses, you can create a foundation of trust and strengthen your relationship with the other person
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