By using a "Good (for this polymer) solvent. Depending on type of the crosslinked polymer - your guess of the type of solvent may be correct at once, but usually one has to move by using "try-and-errors" method. Also - note that the softness will proliferate non-uniformly but - together with the front of the solvent moving from the surface into the bulk. In general - the so-called aprotic solvents like NMP, DMAc, DMF -are the best. But if your crosslinked polymer contains phenylene rings - try aromatic solvents.
see E Richaud et al, Plasticizer effect on network structure and hydrolytic degradation. European Polymer Journal, Volume 69, August 2015, Pages 232-246
The solvent could penatrate into the hard crossed polymer and enlarge the size of the polymer. However, the network could only be swelled by a certain amount of solvent. That is, the solvent in the network does have an saturation. The polymer could be expanded by the solvent until the saturation.