You can try ICGEM home page (http://icgem.gfz-potsdam.de/ICGEM/ICGEM.html) for geoid heights and other quantities. There you can find all geopotential models available, e.g., EGM08, GOCE-based ones, etc. For deflection of the vertical, I can provide to you a MatLab code if you need. The best of luck!
I think currently EGM2008 would provide a good approximation of a geoid ellipsoid separation. However a more accurate determination would require a combined approach where EGM2008 is combined with GOCE or any other satellite only GGMs after preliminary investigations, especially for the lower degrees (approx. up to 150 degrees). Gravity data not used in the development of EGM2008 can be utilized to improve on the solution. Gravity data can also be used for the determination of gravimetric deflections of the vertical. It all depends on the application because you can also compute astro-geodetic deflections of the vertical from astronomic and geodetic coordinates.