When should a sincere man give up on a girl if he required nothing from her but acceptance of a life long relationship, marriage and eternal love?
After meeting someone who you take serious, how long should you try to convince that person to trust you for a serious relationship?.
Dear Abubakar,
"When should a sincere man stop pursuing a girl? --- You ask
As I psychologist, I think that a sincere man stop pursuing a girl when he sees than the focal woman is not sincerely interested in that relationship. Love, as it were, has to be sponateneouns not forced.
KInd regards,
Orlando
When the sincere man finds out that this lady is also sincerely committed to such a relationship with another person .
when he realises that he is outsourcing his happiness onto someone else before he has spent time discovering how to be happy without being dependent on someone else
There is a concept of the pursuer becoming the pursued, this can be contributed to the pursuer changing their view of the person as a means of coping with rejection "sour grapes".
But most of the time girls try to hide their feelings. They want you to try hard. I think so, from my experience. How do you see it @Dawn
Cuando se da cuenta que ella no está interesada realmente.
If this is the case, that she is hiding her feelings, then she will respect you for honoring her space to deal with emotions.
I have learned that we all are conditioned by society to outsource our happiness onto others. This is unfair if we have not found that happiness by ourselves. If we have not got it in the first place, how can we share it with someone else?
He should let go of his objectives when he realises that the girl does not share his relationship goals. This may be expressed by words, or by a repeated avoidance to commit. If the relationship isn't going to work out, he is best to let go and work towards a relationship which is compatible.
By stop pursuing her have many meanings, one is that he stop actions relating to persuade or initiate contact and the other to pursue her in your mental life by forsake other girls in waiting for her. One lead your feelings known to her and will have to depend on her response, then just respect what she as hard as it is. The other one is rather much uncertain and less proactive, things may change in your favour or not but life is short so pursue the first way is likely save time and reduce suffering over the long term...
Pursuing is a strange word. It is not the same as courting a lady. In courting a lady, the chivalrous man realizes the lady is higher than he, and it is her privilege to give him attention and interest or not. If she is not interested, he must bow out gracefully so there is no loss of face for anyone.
Pursuing sounds more like hunting or chasing after someone, there is a hint of agression. Not letting go can lead to harassment and stalking, even if the intention is not to do this. The actions in themselves are in reality harassment.
A man who cannot let go, is most probably chasing a dream, a fantasy, a fantasized woman and a phantasized relationship that do not exist. It is magical thinking, “if she was mine I would be 100% happy”. Every relationship and marriage is hard work, even for those who were head over heels in love from the beginning. An unequal start has even much less chance of success in the long run.
Such a man should be warned not to waste time in chasing unrealistic dreams, but to look around him for the person who would be happy with him and who could be the best partner possible for him. It needs a moment of clarity and some good luck to find that person.
Thank you very much for differentiating between pursuing and courting a woman. I think courting is when both of you are interested I. Each other. There is love, respect etc. Am I right?
I will edit the Question now to remove the word "pursuing".
Thanks a lot @Lilian Hupkens
Hi, don”t edit your text because you will remove the original meaning. If there is a tension, don’t avoid it but stay with it and reflect on it. Perhaps you did mean “to pursue” and you can compare it to “to court”, giving space to new understanding, also for the others reading your interesting question. It is a universal question, and therefore valuable!
thank you all for your responses. I like your answer Mai Sarah
I work with a lot of men amd women who come with a broken heart needing to move on. Love is real and some partners are deeply connected and wanted that life time commitment. It is important to work on letting go, learn from you could could have done differently to make the next one. great, and help the cluemt gain confidence and self esteem back.
Every person is different, it really depends on the girl you are pursuing. Communicating verbally to understand her position is necessary to know whether you or whomever should pursue her. I need/desire full commitment from the start, without marriage first I won't fully commit to a relationship, as that person, from my perspective, has not fully committed to me. For men who desire a specific type of relationship prior to even considering marriage there would never be that type of relationship with me.
Does your lifestyle align with hers? Are your goals, beliefs, and career objectives compatible? If not, in how far are both of you willing to compromise and figure those differences out or be willing to accept and live with those differences?
Please Go To This Link:
https://www.quora.com/When-should-a-sincere-man-stop-pursuing-a-girl
As soon as the man notice that the lady's mind is made up on not accepting him
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